tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22491281566153103912024-03-18T20:16:21.662-07:00 Discover BeautyWe are adopting a beautiful little girl from Eastern Europe who has waited far too long for someone to call her theirs.Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-12569985662025478002017-12-01T07:47:00.001-08:002017-12-01T07:47:58.983-08:00SO SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have to eat crow here. So many of the people who followed our journey are now friends on facebook so I completely forgot that there may be people waiting for updates on our blog. We completed our adoption of "Ava and Nigel" last November, renaming them Elizaveta Aneva and Lincoln Nikola. We still call Elizaveta "Ava", but Lincoln's has fully adopted his American name :) When we brought them home just a few days before Christmas last year they both weighed about 17 pounds (Ava was 8.5 YEARS old, and Lincoln had just turned 4 Years old). <br />
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AVA in a nutshell</div>
Ava struggled with an especially low heart rate, a body covered in hair, and extremely cold extremities. We had to put 3 or 4 layers of socks on in an attempt to keep her body temperature up. Her body was in full on starvation mode and was doing its best just to keep her alive. She had a gtube placed the week after Christmas and ended up being flown to a Children's Hospital 250 miles away in order to monitor her for refeeding syndrome. (If you aren't familiar with it, it happens when someone is starving to death and then starts receiving nutrition. The body doesn't know what to do with all of the nutrition and can start to shut down...it can be life threatening and is taken very seriously) Almost a year later she is a healthy 40 pounds!<br />
Her right leg had been so unbendable we feared that it was a true contracture and she would never be able to bend it. Upon coming home, she was having muscle spasms constantly, it was nearly impossible to keep her comfortable and she spent a lot of time screaming or crying from pain. We've been working with a rehab doctor from Children's Colorado as well as getting regular therapy and her knee bends perfectly now (with the help of some good muscle relaxers.) She is also MUCH happier. We did discover that her hips were completely dislocated which was a BIG cause of her pain and spasms as well. She basically had been holding her right leg so tightly to avoid the pain that movement caused the hip. In October of this year she had bilateral hip surgery to correct both hips. Fortunately they were able to correct the left side with some major bone reconstruction on both the hip and the socket, but the right side was unsalvageable and the surgeon had to completely cut off the top of the femur and the hip. She has been in a full spica cast for the last 6 weeks, but she is so much more comfortable that we are beginning to see more consistent smiles from her. <br />
Finally, we did discover that she is completely blind. There is nothing "wrong" with her eyes themselves, but the part of her brain that that controls vision has been affected by her cerebral palsy so she is unable to fully receive signals. We're all learning how to interact with her in new ways and finding what senses she wants to interact with. She is such a sweet, quiet little girl. We are so grateful we were able to bring her into our family.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Qa91eZNACdmkma2xMOCcx7lDdY0OzSr1lrNUNxDmPzwj6tYlH9pUzUVFqitx0QBb79azY7r36IOwqYfYmZloCp9PQA-DzbgSKNB2nBimFYzSJkwPY54a7j5o814ZB85gqQzgJdp2LQQ/s200/Ava+bg+apt.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="150" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the apartment in Bulgaria on pick up trip<br />(We also had to have all of her teeth surgically removed</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">11 Year old "Yana" holding her 8 year old sister<br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8zJT8EX_EUwcj8DcBkOmRqOGWu0uDc4yU3VeK6vfRJlsT_xHfpJlqjNlJ8x7WLsPpLX8bwpgeH7TpIm6EOQJ4boeN0bn77h3DE5f8U4BoKO4gUAYDzqDXqc87Hxk7VB5sERDRmrKhSY/s1600/First+family+phot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="206" data-original-width="309" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8zJT8EX_EUwcj8DcBkOmRqOGWu0uDc4yU3VeK6vfRJlsT_xHfpJlqjNlJ8x7WLsPpLX8bwpgeH7TpIm6EOQJ4boeN0bn77h3DE5f8U4BoKO4gUAYDzqDXqc87Hxk7VB5sERDRmrKhSY/s200/First+family+phot.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First family picture! Christmas Eve 2016</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ava now!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNvGkT0PRzrv0jvd-kIzbrskQQsI-1OvOlwL45U5Mkwg2BoGUD-oJM3ZK8_juYA3WDJkRFDF12PAM4bRXk6RhyphenhyphenJgdE92oFdvlOWT4RFXrOhGMSWyeE3WREBiwE3XP-FstSwnZGXsy_O68/s1600/Ava+smile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="274" data-original-width="206" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNvGkT0PRzrv0jvd-kIzbrskQQsI-1OvOlwL45U5Mkwg2BoGUD-oJM3ZK8_juYA3WDJkRFDF12PAM4bRXk6RhyphenhyphenJgdE92oFdvlOWT4RFXrOhGMSWyeE3WREBiwE3XP-FstSwnZGXsy_O68/s200/Ava+smile.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Big smile!! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBKYUITMwsVhybUkSEsyD8Dngi1rSmiKoNU8rTxDpY-t3VBcIQF053k3XbEIZ08BFMSn3nG66MUbuuvkGSYGumz7eoOamGzosteWgsSrqEgcAejCB1vHFqfw5blZKm8YN62Wh9TVmyHgo/s1600/Ava+princess.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBKYUITMwsVhybUkSEsyD8Dngi1rSmiKoNU8rTxDpY-t3VBcIQF053k3XbEIZ08BFMSn3nG66MUbuuvkGSYGumz7eoOamGzosteWgsSrqEgcAejCB1vHFqfw5blZKm8YN62Wh9TVmyHgo/s320/Ava+princess.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's such a princess... and look how long her hair is!! </td></tr>
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Lincoln/ "Nigel" in a nutshell</div>
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Lincoln had some definite autism flags. I was super worried about how he was going to handle being outside of his room, much less the orphanage, then the country. In March we found that he had a huge blood clot near his brain and spent a few weeks in Children's hospital followed by months of blood thinner injections. While in the hospital, an NG tube was placed and he quickly learned that he didn't need to drink from a bottle or eat from a spoon to be satisfied. After years of being force-fed boiling hot to super cold food with less than 3 minutes to eat a 12 ounce meal he was D O N E! He has such huge issues revolving around food and eating that the hospital determined it would be best to place a long term feeding tube while we work on teaching him healthy eating habits. It will be a LOONG process, but he's much happier and healthier with this plan.</div>
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Because of the size of the blood clot, we were told it would probably never go away completely, but our goal was to keep it from growing. In August we had it rechecked and were relieved to find that it was COMPLETELY gone. A HUGE answer to prayer! </div>
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He's starting to walk, but HAS to be holding onto someone's hands or the wall. Learning to crawl, he's discovered he can move while pushing his feeding pole all over the house. He's giggly and cuddly and LOVES to play with daddy. While we have dealt with some sensory issues, he has transitioned really well and tolerates being around new people better than we could have hoped.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At therapy, working on standing.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeAiJkwvZgahNQdjPrQutapxcYyGH5ZH4qDM5NdlxqwxLtH9rJRlj5RrWwraOBzXajWJ8sPYupeACJOP4kfqUN5Xkt90m8dnIwNVkzVu4M01T3CEdRum_xquWnLLLPWkGOpzRb5o-9aJU/s1600/lincoln+ppr4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeAiJkwvZgahNQdjPrQutapxcYyGH5ZH4qDM5NdlxqwxLtH9rJRlj5RrWwraOBzXajWJ8sPYupeACJOP4kfqUN5Xkt90m8dnIwNVkzVu4M01T3CEdRum_xquWnLLLPWkGOpzRb5o-9aJU/s200/lincoln+ppr4.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just a happy little guy!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpChz9SiY72MTueBn0MG0zP2blgQR3rNnldRsmtIjrKwCGo3FsEZC3sas80-sgnrUlkLo2Jt3INdlLMuIEFG6lYN3QNsFu_D1vKlw2CO5-5EWy30TJDENYqF_3btzwdvXW15LspjX99xM/s1600/lincoln+ppr3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="274" data-original-width="206" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpChz9SiY72MTueBn0MG0zP2blgQR3rNnldRsmtIjrKwCGo3FsEZC3sas80-sgnrUlkLo2Jt3INdlLMuIEFG6lYN3QNsFu_D1vKlw2CO5-5EWy30TJDENYqF_3btzwdvXW15LspjX99xM/s200/lincoln+ppr3.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the few good pictures I've been able to get with him.<br />He's super camera shy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDgTC07pmumrtRwW6mGGL6I3s9qgIrElNwYZbGktkEq70Z_76xjoxaD-VKfzWTh_Up72fQh3PLIKtlu6z3xUo9O1VYuitqzux7DAk1qWy7Xf6jH_xKsgh6dPNRq18Grsi9zrpths88jws/s1600/Linc+and+dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="274" data-original-width="206" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDgTC07pmumrtRwW6mGGL6I3s9qgIrElNwYZbGktkEq70Z_76xjoxaD-VKfzWTh_Up72fQh3PLIKtlu6z3xUo9O1VYuitqzux7DAk1qWy7Xf6jH_xKsgh6dPNRq18Grsi9zrpths88jws/s200/Linc+and+dad.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snuggling with daddy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrKjNm9Vn0efvDsKRQy3MRksTDuljvB84KTnNSe5bWCM-STfav8950MfE22AhM8sLPJP-peXs10yC5lwVztiu1qVJ2fUP4AKFgr9DxpTqvgaGoiHuQlYkl1Qsqn8f1xnY5sLSxG1bLNkA/s1600/linc+newsies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrKjNm9Vn0efvDsKRQy3MRksTDuljvB84KTnNSe5bWCM-STfav8950MfE22AhM8sLPJP-peXs10yC5lwVztiu1qVJ2fUP4AKFgr9DxpTqvgaGoiHuQlYkl1Qsqn8f1xnY5sLSxG1bLNkA/s200/linc+newsies.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My little newsy!</td></tr>
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<br />Okay, I know this isn't the best update or the best written, but I wanted to get it up before I completely forgot. To each of you who has prayed and followed our family, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS. Life is harder and busier than I imagined possible, but we trust that we are on the path God called us to and knowing we have been able to make a difference in these little lives is unbelievably humbling. <div>
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Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-43695297899361529502016-11-06T12:16:00.002-08:002016-11-06T12:16:45.346-08:00Just keep swimming<br />
It is not an easy fight...to fight for lives that you love yet have no contact with. In about 9 days we will have court and, God willing, two children will become legally "ours." Children, who never knew the comforting arms of a mother or father, who never had siblings come lovingly hug and play with them, who never knew the sights/sounds/smells of FAMILY, will suddenly have one! Sort of. We aren't sure when we will be able to pick them up, usually between 4-6 weeks after court, however the holidays fall right in the middle of that and that makes our timeline even more unpredictable than normal. <br />
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We spent one day last week setting out and packing outfits, choosing "gotcha day" outfits and imagining what sizes will best suit our 8 year old and 4 year old kids (based on height we settled on sizes 2T for both of them :) ) <br />
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Now...We wait. </div>
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This part of the process never gets easier...you start to get excited and then nervous. You wonder what they will be like? What will life be like for your entire family? Are you prepared enough ?(umm... I already know the answer to this is "no" because it's impossible to prepare for the unknown) </div>
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Will the new kids be able to handle the transition? etc...and the what if's start to overwhelm you. You are ready to just get started!</div>
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So, we are trying to focus on some fun things while we wait - like baking Fall cookies and Christmas shopping! I was so fortunate to get the entire day with my 6 year old yesterday to just enjoy HER. I remember how important one on one time is with each of my children both for them and for me :) Speaking of which, I need to finish reviewing my 11 year old's report with her before school tomorrow and give my 4 year old a bath, so I guess I'm ending this here for now :) Thank you for listening! </div>
Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-23869273381895502422016-11-02T09:17:00.002-07:002016-11-02T09:17:50.795-07:00The Great Adoption Exhaustion<br />
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I say "Great" as in massive. About a year and a half ago my husband and I realized our family wasn't complete and that we were being called to adopt again. It took a while to find out who we were supposed to adopt, but we started the process early knowing that we would likely be adopting a child in severe condition and that we would want to move quickly. We found our little girl the middle of October after having our homestudy almost completed... a little girl who was seven YEARS old and weighed the same as an average 6 MONTH old. We were relieved to know that since this was our second adoption and we were already ahead of the game that we would likely be able to get to her quickly.... That was NOT the case, for whatever reason there was delay after delay but by the end of April I was finally able to go meet this little beauty. <br />
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I thought I was prepared. I had adopted a little boy who weighed close to what she did only he was 3 years old...not SEVEN. He was tiny and malnourished and my heart broke when I saw him the first time. I expected her to be the same. She wasn't. She has survived another four years longer in an institution. Lance had cried the whole time on my first trip to meet him, and he continues to have bouts of crying to this day (although they are more "I'm mad at you" cries now ;) ) I expected Ava to do the same thing...only she didn't. She didn't make hardly any noise the whole week. Once when I put her down in her bed to measure her she cried because she didn't want to be put back in her "cell"..ahem I mean bed. Unfortunately I realized that this is the difference a few crucial years makes in a child who is so neglected. She gave up. She quit caring. She quit trying. She doesn't smile nor does she cry because she knows it won't change the reality of the last now EIGHT years of her life. I was grossly unprepared for a silent child.<br />
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Ava turned 8 this year and still weighs the same as a 6 month old. Her long body is pale and gaunt while her hands are the size of a baby but without the typical fat stores. Mostly baby teeth are rotted and gray or black, many completely broken off. Trying to swallow, she struggles to get enough calories in her to sustain her tiny frame. At 8, she wears a size 2T with elastic sewn tight to keep them from falling off of her. I find myself wondering HOW?<br />
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While visiting Ava, I met another little boy, who I could not ignore. By the end of the week I knew I could not leave him behind. We worked as quickly as possible to get paperwork submitted in order to get him added to our adoption....more delays. By the end of July I was able to return to have an official visit with him.<br />
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He is beautiful. With soft blonde curls and big blue eyes, he melted me. I spent the first day just holding him on my lap. His face turned toward my shoulder, he wrapped his arms and legs around mine and didn't move or make a sound for hours. By the end of the day I saw a glimpse that told met this little boy, who is amazingly shy, is unrecognizable when in his comfort zone. Smiling and Giggling in his crib, he grabbed my phone, played, and took "selfies." I realized he is undeniably unused to being in a room with other people, noises, and lights. "Take it slow with this one" I caution myself as the week progresses. Slowly he begins to open up to me more, allowing me to hold him in the big room surrounded by people without being completely plastered against me. I am hopeful that he can overcome his anxiety around people and new situations with some consistent help.<br />
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I returned to the good ol USA (can we talk about customs returning to the US? Seriously 2 hours?!)<br />
I digress. Knowing that Ava's condition is not improving and that it takes 2 days for every one spent in an institution to undo the damage I am in a hurry to get both kids home. I know that life will become harder once they are home, there will be countless doctor and therapy appointments, hours will be spent changing diapers and trying to feed kids who are used to starving and don't know how to eat. The relative quiet of our home may quickly be filled with crying and shouting as two children fight their fear, confusion, and lack of control. Life will not be easy for a long time...correction EVER. Yet, I am in a hurry to bring them home? Yes. I know that as difficult as it is to adopt children who have been hurt, neglected, abused, and starved it was not something they ever had a choice in. Our lives in the USA are so easy compared to the lives of children dying too young at the hand of an unjust world.<br />
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So here we go...It's November and we finally have a court date (a month later than many families who were submitted after us) and it's NOVEMBER 15, 2016. These two precious lives will become legally ours on November 15.Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-46117539646928466592016-06-29T14:10:00.003-07:002016-06-29T14:10:28.253-07:00Sooo much more to add...and our exciting news! I firstly have to apologize for grossly neglecting this blog. We've had a LOT of changes in the past few months and I'll be the first to admit that I've stepped away more and more from social media to focus on our adoption and the kids we already have at home. With that said let me get you all caught up!<br />
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I was able to travel to meet Ava the end of April. I traveled by myself as I did on the first trip when I met Lance and Elliott. This was a bit of a different experience for me. I had a different translator and since I am with a different in country agency things just are run differently. I was on my own more so than I had been previously and the atmosphere was...different. First impression of Ava's city...it is a beautiful sea side city that is a bit touristy, the hotel is right around the corner from Ava's orphanage so we walked to and from her orphanage twice a day. <br />
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What did I think of the orphanage?<br />
It is actually a really nice place. It looks like it has recently been renovated and has many modern conveniences (including a high tech surveillance system) Ava is in a group "apartment" which is basically two bedrooms separated by a large living/dining space. There is a couch, coffee table, tv, a small ball pit, and a dining table. This orphanage is a different environment than either Lance or Elliott's in that I was able to visit with her in her group, surrounded by the nannies and some of the other children.<br />
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What kind of care do the children receive?<br />
Some of the children spend all day in the main room and have lots of attention and interaction with the staff. Others, spent the days either in high chairs or cribs depending on their abilities. Ava is fed with a bottle and while initially she seemed to drink pretty well, I quickly realized that she just can't keep up with the foods and textures to be able to safely take in the calories she needs. At almost 8 years old her teeth are completely rotted out and the little bits that are left are black.<br />
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What about Ava?!<br />
Aside from the feeding/teeth issues, she is absolutely tiny...breakable. She is much longer than I had guessed, but she only weighs about 17 pounds which makes her just skin and bones. I suspect she is blind as her eyes are generally glossy and she doesn't seem to look or focus on anything. She is quiet...almost silent actually. She doesn't really respond to any kind of stimulation other than occasionally a sound. She didn't appear to be in pain or care if I moved or adjusted her to break up the pattern caused by her cerebral palsy. The only time I got a response from her was when I went to lay her down after a few days of holding her and giving her attention, she cried out briefly which gave me hope that she cares what happens to her and she was obviously enjoying being loved on. At the end of the day I'm just not sure what her personality will show once she starts getting proper nutrition and care.<br />
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What does our timeline look like from here?<br />
WELL....that's where this story gets a little interesting. Remember how I mentioned that I was able to see the other kids in her group? There was one little boy who spent most of his time in his crib in his bedroom, however I saw him every day when they brought him in to feed him. From the first moment I saw him, he had my heart. I recognized him right away as one of the little boys I've seen listed before and I couldn't help but watch him. While he has cerebral palsy like Lance and Ava, his is a low tone form. He is 3 years old and is able to eat well from a spoon, and sits up with some support. He is absolutely precious and smiled back at me when I smiled at him. On the final day of my visit I asked if I could hold him and he curled into my arms and laid his head on my shoulder. I was absolutely IN LOVE. I called my husband as soon as I got back to my hotel and asked him if there was a possibility to add him if we could adopt him. <3 Which...leads me to our timeline question. We ARE adding "Nigel" (that's not his real name so don't start calling him that ;) ) to our adoption which has added a few more months to our process and a few thousand dollars as well. We already have the verbal referral for him and are waiting on the official written referral. Basically the "powers that be" are going to require me to go back to officially visit him before we can move on to the next stage of the process. At this point it's looking like the kiddos won't be home until the end of the year :(<br />
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OK! So, there's a lot going on in our family right now, but that's the most exciting stuff for now. I'll work on posting the rest in the next few weeks, but to tide ya over here's a few pics of my first trip to meet Ava (Unfortunately I'm not allowed to actually share pictures of her until she's officially ours.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaF4Z9w6sUmQ4A7O5XtPMV-ZqHrE2aHJ1p1AKpjYk1fx4bWTKlw52Qp4DVAayRjeS9rQepD3kquxgtHgFNzBJuM-_EKeyWjBJ4mfBuIsNL79b4juWiT0enirA4nP_HwFXcWYInJNYilEw/s1600/changing+of+the+gaurd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaF4Z9w6sUmQ4A7O5XtPMV-ZqHrE2aHJ1p1AKpjYk1fx4bWTKlw52Qp4DVAayRjeS9rQepD3kquxgtHgFNzBJuM-_EKeyWjBJ4mfBuIsNL79b4juWiT0enirA4nP_HwFXcWYInJNYilEw/s320/changing+of+the+gaurd.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Changing of the Guard</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsDt1WD1ppxw1-qfNl5Qa7luHQ6PGMa8b6P8FBZ7R0QmNqlhC1JXuRYrr1cXXt4fZdMqK1-0LwtPwZfNduIChXj55PwJExfiO4BPeTxunqnfpKj37M_-Ydquuokk48b4QaKtDxsU2Q3WQ/s1600/bird+lady.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsDt1WD1ppxw1-qfNl5Qa7luHQ6PGMa8b6P8FBZ7R0QmNqlhC1JXuRYrr1cXXt4fZdMqK1-0LwtPwZfNduIChXj55PwJExfiO4BPeTxunqnfpKj37M_-Ydquuokk48b4QaKtDxsU2Q3WQ/s320/bird+lady.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Bird lady</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOnt65Y80gz-wtSGIgM6omfDxS3nVReR6Q6silhSTpu39kZpHl8CA-ADQA0ZST5Xd_6PsUFYhIMjF9-hWGah7dvg7DLo-6oDz8yvMBh7ztyZtawN5uJlcI7581xTirQKhnMe4cHjtqA-Q/s1600/fish+spa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOnt65Y80gz-wtSGIgM6omfDxS3nVReR6Q6silhSTpu39kZpHl8CA-ADQA0ZST5Xd_6PsUFYhIMjF9-hWGah7dvg7DLo-6oDz8yvMBh7ztyZtawN5uJlcI7581xTirQKhnMe4cHjtqA-Q/s320/fish+spa.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fish Spa? (Yes, there are little tiny fish that "eat" your feet :O )</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4fWwwPIuGVe8dlT_fiLqkYn0yQ9X_ulqkyO9Pw7mt0EIvbupnmVK_5Jl0ezHOhCFOGkyQZLQS8GvovaFa4DW1wuwPw9ogzZZoXD_2ugLJBJpASgmTqAZp8ALdI1alnf0EduVWRePs_fE/s1600/little+fingers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4fWwwPIuGVe8dlT_fiLqkYn0yQ9X_ulqkyO9Pw7mt0EIvbupnmVK_5Jl0ezHOhCFOGkyQZLQS8GvovaFa4DW1wuwPw9ogzZZoXD_2ugLJBJpASgmTqAZp8ALdI1alnf0EduVWRePs_fE/s320/little+fingers.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ava's little 8 year old fingers.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW7RlDL_RoDrJ9k6dh5P1DMvCgr9ZUgsiwOJnE9qbgbAym76gmlDi9NXgbx7KDz0FGV0_9xY-eRfRXNNdA1gM8SKoH40Q4H1e4nrzG9I4939v5UUdRFJ-vX4Y43LBzCnHRQzzT-6DEC6Q/s1600/the+black+sea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW7RlDL_RoDrJ9k6dh5P1DMvCgr9ZUgsiwOJnE9qbgbAym76gmlDi9NXgbx7KDz0FGV0_9xY-eRfRXNNdA1gM8SKoH40Q4H1e4nrzG9I4939v5UUdRFJ-vX4Y43LBzCnHRQzzT-6DEC6Q/s320/the+black+sea.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Black Sea</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig40CSHmJLOK67tM4kryAn1yUBV06LRQgbSAG-OaA0gjZ8c5Z7B-QJUKW4JgwRqwEiE1OGl6Xfe0ZQsXtSEUDScheqDFwNRVfkJDwo-kuJa73Frr5QeZUAxdezuT5nxG_2NOAzbis6tbU/s1600/alexander+nevski.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig40CSHmJLOK67tM4kryAn1yUBV06LRQgbSAG-OaA0gjZ8c5Z7B-QJUKW4JgwRqwEiE1OGl6Xfe0ZQsXtSEUDScheqDFwNRVfkJDwo-kuJa73Frr5QeZUAxdezuT5nxG_2NOAzbis6tbU/s320/alexander+nevski.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Orthodox cathedral "Alexander Nevski"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">
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And finally...Here's the little one that we're adding to bring home with Ava:<br />
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We have a matching grant to help us pay the fees to get this guy added! If you are looking for a way to help out and want to make a tax deductible donation you can do so here:<br />
http://reecesrainbow.org/101637/sponsorschmitt-2Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-9385299574894618152015-12-05T23:13:00.002-08:002015-12-06T12:48:18.486-08:00Number 6 A few months ago I received a totally random facebook message from a friend. It was just a picture of a little boy who looked a lot like Lance. When I finally took the time to ask why she was sending me the picture it propelled me back into the reality of orphans. We really needed the last two years to focus on Elliott and Lance and getting them to a place of stability in our home and family. During that time I stopped looking on advocacy sites or following others adoption journeys really because I just didn't have the time. We spent A LOT of time at doctors, therapists, hospital stays, and that was my focus. So a few months ago (about the time that my friend sent this photo) my husband and I sat down, leaned back, and said "I think we've gotten to our new normal." and we sighed a deep sigh of relief and rest.... so when I got this picture, I thought "That's cute, but we aren't adopting again." ...except I couldn't help but start looking at the seas of faces that are waiting for families and homes one more time.<br />
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...and that was a fact. </div>
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We really started searching our hearts and both came to a place of feeling that God was telling us He wanted more from us. We have such an easy life. No, not compared to some people, but compared to the majority of the people in the world and compared to EVERY SINGLE orphaned child...our life is so blessed. I truly cannot fathom walking with plastic bottles tied to the bottoms of my feet in desperation </div>
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or quenching unbearable thirst like this....</div>
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I am blessed. I am fortunate. My life is easy.</div>
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Sooo...how did this lead us to Ava. Well, we considered a few children and started paperwork on them actually and when I went to mail the documents it didn't feel right. I just couldn't. I asked my husband if he felt that we were supposed to back up and wait and he (my voice of reason) told me no, he didn't think that. So I kept looking and praying for our child while we started the homestudy process. The day the last of us had our physical (a requirement for both the homestudy and dossier) I came home discouraged and planned to call our homestudy agency to tell them we wanted to put everything on hold until further notice. I got on the advocacy site just one more time ( ;) Yes, I've said that before) and one little girl's big brown eyes stood out. I couldn't scroll past her, I couldn't look past this face. I asked a friend to see if she could find out more about her and a few hours later she messaged me with this:</div>
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<span class="null">MELISSA!!!!\</span></div>
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<span class="null">I just got the first file I am supposed to work on...</span></div>
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<span class="null">GUESS WHO IT IS</span></div>
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You guessed it! It was Ava. (The whole process from seeing her to finding her and committing to her wasn't quite that cut and dried - but those are the highlights) We committed to her ASAP before our placing agency even had a chance to list her as a waiting child so when we finally got to show her picture to the rest of the world, most people hadn't gotten to see her before. This is the first time she has been listed but she's been waiting for 7 years. Have you ever had to lay in a bed for days with nothing on tv or to read and no-one to talk to? It's hard. It's really not fun after the first few hours. This is Ava's life and has been since the moment she took her first breath. She lays in a crib and waits. I have a short video of her laying in her crib and it makes my heart ache. She lays there trying to find the person who she knows has come in the room with her limited abilities. She waits for them to come close to her and after a bit her mouth starts to attempt to eat. She turns her head reflexively like a newborn and tries to eat only there is nothing there...no-one is going to feed her this time. She's SEVEN YEARS OLD people! She weighs the same as a 5 month old infant. She weighs what Lance did when he came home at 3 years old and had a waist the size of a preemie. Medically, according to her file, she is very similar to Lance. We anticipate her needs to imitate his on many levels and feel so grateful for all that he has taught us and the tools we now have available to be able to help meet her needs and give her the best chance at a joy-filled life. </div>
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Thanks so much for taking a minute to read and support us on our journey. </div>
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<i style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: medium; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;">Melissa</i></div>
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<br />Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-21348815956532901582015-10-04T12:15:00.001-07:002015-10-04T12:15:19.278-07:00AlI know, I know...I dropped off the advocacy bandwagon. I will tell you (or maybe show you) exactly why:<br />
<br />
I would see a waiting child that would tear at my heart and I would advocate and beg for a family for him/her. Often times they got families! (Augustin, Sadie, Chad...) Sometimes they only just got to meet their earthly family before going to Heaven. Sometimes they never found a family or comfort on earth. It's heart wrenching and emotionally draining. So I got busy, excuse, excuse, blah, blah, blah...and quit even looking. Until last week when God starting pulling at me again and I LOOKED, once again I looked. Looked at the children, the souls, the lives, that were (ARE) hurting and broken.<br />
<br />
I asked -<br />
Why not adopt?<br />
Why not advocate?<br />
Why not sponsor?<br />
Why not?!<br />
<br />
Because "our plate is full" (I have to get up around 6 or 7 a.m and love and tend to children all day and often in the night...i.e they give me kisses and hugs, tell me they love me, and for those that can't they smile and cuddle my shoulder) Hmm...maybe I should have a second plate! ;) <br />
Because we have no money (Sure, we have internet, a computer, clothes that are clean and fit, new shoes, a running car that is safe, food in the refrigerator and pantry, and a home...oh and did I mention clean water, indoor plumbing, electricity...?) <br />
Because we already adopted 2! (All I can say here is that I am SOOO grateful that God didn't stop at Adam and Eve and say His work was done because He had saved 2)<br />
Because our other children might not want to. (This is a legitimately good reason! Unless, of course, you've talked to your children and they have told you that they would happily donate their prized possessions if it would help bring another child home)<br />
Because people will think I'm crazy! (They probably already do! But even if that's a new development, do I care enough about what a stranger or acquaintance is going to think about me enough to sacrifice a child's life?)<br />
Because my husband says no. (Well, that IS a deal breaker - in adoption you both have to be ok with the decision because without that support it's impossibly hard for EVERYONE!)<br />
<br />
When all else fails go to the Bible, right? What does God say about it?<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;"><br /></span>
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<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;">Proverbs 31:8-9(NIV)</span></li>
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<h1 class="passage-display" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 20px;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;"><span style="font-weight: 500;">8 </span><u>Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, </u></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;"><u>for the rights of all who are destitute</u>.</span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18px; font-weight: 500; line-height: 19.8px;">9 Speak up and judge fairly;</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;"><u>defend the rights of the poor and needy.</u></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;"><div>
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<li><span style="line-height: 19.8px;">Matthew 18:1-5 (NIV)</span></li>
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<span style="line-height: 19.8px;">1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”</span></div>
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2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5<u> <b>And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.</b></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;"><ul>
<li><span style="line-height: 19.8px;">James 1:27 (NIV)</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 19.8px;">27 <u><b>Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress</b></u> and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.</span></div>
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Now, I looked and I see THIS child: Al</div>
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Al is TEN years old and about the size Lance was when we brought him home almost 2 years ago.</div>
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This was Lance at THREE years old</div>
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PLEASE ask yourself the tough questions and decide what you can do to help children like Al.</div>
Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-47033071454907246202015-04-25T14:53:00.001-07:002015-04-25T14:53:37.072-07:00The other side of the coin Alright, so a few years ago I started to really delve into the big wide world of adoption. I made lots of Facebook friends and started following lots of adoption journeys, both before, during, and post "Gotcha!" About 6 months in to our commitment to adopt a child with severe neglect and obvious physical needs I started reading all of these blog posts about families who had adopted once, twice, three times or more... These families brought home children from the US, children from foster care, children from orphanages, and some from mental institutions. They homeschooled their children, some of them cloth diapered, and they would post pictures of a humble home that was essentially spotless. I would sit back at the end of the day, look around my 1500 square foot house that we were renting for our family of 5 and think about the all of the laundry that did NOT get done, do the second or third vinegar rinse of MY cloth diapers for the day, and just wonder HOW?! How on earth do these people do it...and with 3 times as many kids as I have! <br />
Well, let me fast forward to today. We are renting a larger house, but yes - still renting. I actually, miracle of all miracles, only have one load of laundry left and it is just going through the spin cycle, and my house is clean! (Well, my NEW version of clean) My daughter is only a week behind where I want her to be in Math, everyone is fed, diapered, bathed, massaged, and have had their second round of range of motion exercises for the day. I am sitting here with my make up on, hair done, and... yes, still in my pajamas. (It's 3:25 on a Saturday afternoon :/)<br />
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This is MY VIEW OF SUCCESS!</div>
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I don't generally stop and take pictures of me shampooing pee out of the carpet, or one of my kids after they threw up all over. I didn't take a picture of the FIRST bath where someone pooped in the tub right after I finished washing their hair (we'll call that a practice round), and I certainly didn't announce on Facebook that I had a temper tantrum and grounded one of my kids. Why not? Because that's not the side I want YOU to see! I want you to be on my side and think only good things of me and my kids and my family. I want you to see rainbows and sunshine...not the clouds and the storms that come first. <br />
<br />
Sooo...why am I doing exactly that right now? BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KNOW! 6 months after your beautiful child comes home, everyone will be busy living THEIR lives, YOU will be living yours and there will be lots of rainy days...days without umbrellas, days without someone patting you on the back or gushing over your beautiful child who may never walk. You will not have 500 facebook friends offering to sit on your couch for you while your child screams for the second hour in a row for reasons even he does not understand. You will realize that you probably aren't going to be invited to the same things you used to be because it's just not as "easy" to have your family over to someone else's house.<br />
<br />
I LOVE my life, I ADORE my family, I wouldn't change one minute. They are my life, they are amazing, smart, creative, precious, maddening, frustrating, mess-making. They are BEAUTIFUL. This is the other side of all of those makeovers...yes! They have grown. Yes! They have made incredible improvements. Yes! I LOVE them and at the end of the day, I will not have a perfectly clean house, the laundry will never be ironed, the garage will smell of dirty diapers, and their may be dirty dishes in the sink. I WILL get up the next day and do it all over again and thank God for giving me this life. <br />
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WHAT IS YOUR TRUTH?</div>
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<br />Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-83450364150044828472015-04-15T21:10:00.001-07:002015-04-15T21:10:57.736-07:00Mom shopping - Nope, sorry, that doesn't mean mom's just get to go shopping.<br />
Have you ever been around a kid that you've never met or seen before and they just want to hug you or kiss you or sit on your lap or hold your hand? People always gush over how sweet this kid is and love that affection. I know because I always did too. <br />
In kids coming from broken pasts this is NOT a "good" thing. It's called "Mom shopping", they are looking for something to heal their broken hearts. They are looking for a "mom." What about when they are adopted and have a mom? They quit shopping, right? WRONG! Sometimes just the opposite is true.<br />
Let me paint you a very real picture. Baby is born - Mom gives up baby - baby goes to an orphanage - orphanage worker 1 feeds baby and moves on - orphanage worker 2 changes baby and moves on - orphanage worker 3 feeds baby - orphanage worker 4 bathes baby - orphanage worker 5 changes baby....seeing where this is going yet? By the time baby is 5 years old how many orphanage workers or foster moms/dads/siblings have had contact with him? Too many to even remember. How many stuck around? ZERO, a really easy number to remember. At some point one of them might have been especially kind and loving and made baby feel special, but what happened to that caretaker? They "left" - maybe not because they didn't care anymore, but for a million different reasons they are no longer there. <br />
Now, in walks adoptive mom and dad. YAY!! Baby is sooo happy - he finally has a family, right?! Again, nope. Baby doesn't know what a family is. He doesn't know or understand or believe that moms and dads DONT LEAVE. He doesn't know that they will love you always - no matter what. To him, this is just another caretaker and he has built big STRONG brick walls. These walls are special to him because he has worked very hard to lay them brick by brick. They keep his little heart safe from everything that comes to try to hurt it.<br />
<br />
You get the picture. Did you know that touch is a basic NEED just like water and air? People NEED touch to survive. Without it our brains develop differently. So kids without even knowing it are working to get that NEED of touch met. Kids who come from hurt get this need met by strangers because their hearts are not at risk by hugging a stranger. Why? Because they KNOW that stranger is going to walk away. They expect it so it won't hurt them. When they become adopted and MOM and DAD give them hugs and kisses it's SCARY! Not at first, at first they are happy to get and give affection because they don't care if you leave - they are expecting it. As you become more and more of a permanent fixture in their lives this changes. Suddenly they start to realize that "when" you leave them it WILL hurt. Add another brick to their wall.<br />
This is seen when they have a really good week or month, or maybe just a day with mom or dad. They feel loved - that's SCARY!! Add a brick<br />
This is seen when they fall and mom rushes to hug and comfort them. SCARY! Add a brick<br />
This is seen when mom sits down at the end of the day to just rock them and say "I love you". Add a brick.<br />
They start to pull away and sometimes act out - becoming harsh or aggressive. They don't want to hug you, they don't want you to be nice to them....THEY ARE PROTECTING THEIR LITTLE SHATTERED HEARTS!<br />
<br />
BUT what about that basic need for touch? They still need it, but not from someone who can hurt them! So they see a stranger who smiles at them and they go get a hug - basic need met = don't need mom = heart is safe.<br />
<br />
Here is the good news!!! Elliott has been home about 16 months. He loves everyone and everyone loves him. Seriously, people stop in the middle of the mall to talk to him. The staff at doctors offices know him and look forward to seeing him. He is an amazing and special kid.... who has a HUGE basic need for touch. Seriously LOVES touch. So for 16 months I've been telling him "We only hug family." Last Sunday he went up to a lady at church, who for some reason reminds him of his grandma in North Dakota. He called her grandma excitedly and she wrapped her arm around him and kissed the top of his head. (Queue mental palm to forehead moment for mom) BUT Imagine how excited I was when, after 16 months of "Only hug family" comments, he ran from "grandma" TO MOM and yelled "ONLY HUG FAMILY!!" YEP!! Those little shattered hearts CAN heal! I'm not naive enough to believe that that's the end of those "mom shopping" days, but it is a HUGE - GINORMOUS step in that direction!!<br />
Keep going moms!! Our little shoppers CAN and WILL get there.Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-40532217247786041822015-04-13T10:38:00.000-07:002015-04-13T11:48:45.442-07:00Telling the truth in the face of adoption<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Before I start I want to mention </b><b>a little bit about our own personal story.
We felt 100% called to bring Elliott and Lance home at the same time.
God renewed that belief over and over throughout the process in so many
ways. It has been hard, but it has also been beautiful and we are so
grateful for the children God has allowed us to parent. We would not
have done it any other way because this was right for our family.</b></span> </li>
</ul>
<br />
Bear with me here. Some of you are probably NOT going to like what I'm
about to write. That's ok, I'm going to write it anyway. Not because I
don't CARE about your feelings or opinions - I DO! I care so much that
I've chosen to write a post that may be offensive. <br />
I want to talk about the adoption community. You know that community because you are probably a part of it. THANK YOU for being a part of it. THANK YOU for caring so much about the plight of the orphans. THANK YOU for your time, energy, pennies, dollars, and emotions. It's a painful cause to be passionate about, but YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!! Those pennies, sharing those little kids faces, telling their stories DOES make a difference. If you stop shouting for them who will?<br />
The part I'm worried about is when members of that community cover over things in order to convince someone to adopt "just one more." I've heard so many stories of "one more", you know what I'm talking about?<br />
<br />
<b> <span style="color: red;">"It's only a few thousand dollars more to bring home ONE MORE and you will be saving a life - you just need to do it."</span></b><br />
<ul><b>
</b>
<li><b><span style="color: red;"> </span><span style="color: red;">Bringing home two children at
the same time is cheaper than going back a year later for the second
one. - Being able to take individual time to rock them to sleep and
cuddle them is priceless. Emotional therapy because you don't have time
for them is expensive! </span></b></li>
<b>
</b>
<li><b> <span style="color: red;"> Let's try:</span></b>
<b><span style="color: red;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: red;"> Instead of "It's only a few thousand
more to adopt a second child at the same time!" Maybe try "If God is
telling you to adopt another child, no matter when He is calling you He
will provide." BECAUSE HE WILL!!!</span></b></li>
</ul>
<b> "What if one dies while you are bringing the first one home when you could have saved them both by bringing them home together?" </b><br />
<ul><b>
</b>
<li><b> If God is telling you with
absolute certainty that you are to bring both children home at the same
time - DO IT! He will provide. IT WILL BE HARD. If it is because of
your own desire to "save" them take a step back - it's NOT UP TO YOU! </b><h1 class="passage-display">
<span class="passage-display-bcv">Psalm 139:16</span><span class="passage-display-version">New International Version (NIV)</span></h1>
<b>
</b><div class="poetry top-05">
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<div class="line">
<b><span class="text Ps-139-16" id="en-NIV-16256"><sup class="versenum">16 </sup>Your eyes saw my unformed body;</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-16">all the days ordained for me were written in your book</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-16">before one of them came to be.</span></span></b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="line">
<b><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-16"> Here's another little dose of reality - if you are bringing home
children with significant needs you need to be on top of your game that
first year especially. If they are medically fragile, they will need
lots of testing, lots of medical intervention and therapy and there will
be surprises. Some good and some hard. You MAY need to spend weeks
beside a hospital bed 5 hours away from the rest of your children and
spouse - including the second child you brought home at the same time.
You need to think very seriously about whether or not your spouse is
prepared to do a middle of the night ER run with all of your children
while you are watching your other child get blood transfusions in the PICU and making decisions about picc lines.</span></span></b></div>
</div>
</li>
</ul>
<b><span style="color: red;"> "You have the room to bring home another child - it's your duty." </span></b><br />
<ul><b><span style="color: red;">
</span></b>
<li><b><span style="color: red;"> You probably do have the physical
space for another child, or two, or three, or more. Do you have the
time? Children need individual love FROM THEIR PARENTS!! If you have 5
kids and each of them gets just a half hour of your individual time a
day (reading them a book, painting nails, playing trains on the floor,
cuddling before bed time) that's 2.5 hours a day - no big deal right?
AWESOME, now who's watching them the other 21.5 hours, who's making them
meals, changing their diapers, giving them baths, taking them to and
from doctors appointments and therapy, who's doing the grocery shopping
and laundry? It is possible, but it's hard and we need to BE REALISTIC!</span></b></li>
<b><span style="color: red;">
</span></b>
<li><b><span style="color: red;"> Let's try:<br />
Instead of telling people that if they
have the room it's their DUTY to adopt more kids. Encourage them to
seek out what God is calling them to and remember that God tells us
"care for widows and orphans" He does not outline exactly what that
looks like for every person. It may look like bringing meals to widows
on a regular basis, it may look like donating $10 a month toward an
adoption, it may look like providing respite care for an adoptive
family, it may look like adopting 5 kids, it may look like adopting one.</span></b></li>
</ul>
<b> "Look at Mrs. Jones! She has x amount of kids and SHE'S DOING IT!" </b><br />
<ul><b>
</b>
<li><b>Yes Mrs. Jones has a lot of
kids. Yes, she posts some amazing pictures and stories. FACT - you are
not Mrs. Jones and this is not a competition. Here's another thing we
really need to take into account: Just because Mrs. Jones posts about
rainbows doesn't mean she doesn't see storms. When you have a bad day
and rant and rave to your kids do you promptly go on facebook and tell
everyone? When you go through the whole day never finding time to get
dressed or clean the bathroom do you post selfies of that? Ummm....I
certainly don't! I doubt Mrs. Jones does either. </b></li>
</ul>
<br />
STAY WITH ME HERE!The other concern is when the needs are down-played.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><b>"Oh that syndrome? It's NO BIG DEAL!</b></span><span style="color: red;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><b>"Some therapy and modern medicine WILL TOTALLY FIX THAT!"</b></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: red;"><b> </b></span><span style="color: red;"><b><span style="color: orange;"><span style="color: red;">This
one is probably going to shock you...brace yourself. MODERN MEDICINE
DOES NOT FIX EVERYTHING! It just doesn't, be prepared for that. Some
kids will come home not being able to walk and with western medicine and
lots of therapy will be able to walk and talk and write and lead
totally normal lives. Some kids won't be able, sometimes you will see
very little improvement - assume that if you are bringing home an
involved child they will be involved forever and rejoice over any
milestone. It's not fair to say that you are ok with an involved 2 year
old when the truth is you will not be ok with an involved 30 year old -
because someday that 2 year old will be 30 years old. KNOW THAT! </span></span></b></span></li>
</ul>
<b>"That attachment issue? IT WILL BE FINE! Just show them love." </b><br />
<ul><b>
</b>
<li><b> Attachment
issues are real and EVERY child who has suffered neglect or abandonment
WILL have them. They will take more than love. It will take diligence
and more patience than you ever thought you would need. Sometimes YOU
will not be able to help them overcome these hurts on your own.
Sometimes you will need to spend the money, take the time, and travel
several hours to get them the help they need to heal.</b></li>
<b>
</b>
<li><b> Let's try:<br />
Instead of "Love will heal
whatever attachment issues they have." Try "There are some great
resources available for adoptive parents and parents looking into
adoption if you are serious about adopting make the time to learn about
it."</b></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="color: red;">"A non-mobile child? She'll probably be able to walk once she's home."</span></b><br />
<ul><b><span style="color: red;">
</span></b>
<li><b><span style="color: red;"> Having a non-mobile child is a
game changer. Suddenly you will find that your back will hurt from
picking them up and putting them down all day. You will smash your
fingers getting their heavy equipment out of the trunk of the car and it
will take you an EXTRA hour to get in and out of whatever building you
are visiting. You will lug the wheelchair out, secure your child into
it with all 5 safety measures, push it across the parking lot, maneuver
it through the single door of the office building only to find that
there is no elevator and your options are either go UPSTAIRS or
DOWNSTAIRS. You will, at some point, need a handicap accessible van. </span></b></li>
<b><span style="color: red;">
</span></b>
<li><b><span style="color: red;"> <span style="background-color: white;">Let's try some things:</span><span style="background-color: white;">Instead of "A non-mobile child is no big deal!" say something like "This is a beautiful child who will need a lot of care."</span></span></b></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="color: orange;"><br /></span></b><br />
<br />
The fact is that there are 153 million orphans world wide. YES! They ALL need families. HOWEVER, we need to be honest with one another because these are children! They are real people with real souls and real issues. They are not a hobby or a habit. You do not collect them and set them on a nice showcase just to look at every now and then.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Can you tell I'm passionate about this? </b></span>Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-19664263471620819602015-04-10T18:18:00.003-07:002015-04-10T18:18:50.148-07:00Spring Cleaning<br />
<br />
I don't know if I'm the only mom in the world that does this, but after creating rules (like "if you get something out you have to put it away or it WILL get taken away) and then giving them an overabundance of "Grace" (ie. "Are you sure you want me to take your baby doll away or did you want to put her away?") I decided TIME. IS. UP! We spent the day ridding our play room/ school room of all kinds of random paraphernalia, leaving behind a train set, big duplo blocks, small legos, and 3 baby dolls. YEP! That's all...everything else is in a big giant bag for donation or in the trash. <br />
<br />
So? What does this have to do with our boys or adoption or really anything? A few months into our adoption I was introduced to the world of attachment. It was a very scary and very real thing. I learned that children who haven't been hugged and shown love on regular basis have brains that have developed completely different than a child born into a loving environment and shown love and security. The parts of their brains that are the strongest and are "used" the most is the "fight, flight, or freeze" section. (Sorry, I'm not an expert here and I can't give you all of the perfect lingo - I HIGHLY recommend Nancy Thomas's website <a href="http://www.attachment.org/" target="_blank">http://www.attachment.org/</a> to get a full picture) So when you have a kid who's brain has not had a chance to develop as strongly when you say something like "If you get this out you HAVE to put it away or it WILL get taken away" guess what part of their brain lights up? You guessed it! That fight, flight, or freeze portion. Why? Because what they hear from you is a direct threat and our brain's respond to what we perceive to be threats.<br />
Let me tell you the verbiage you use when working with kids who have attachment issues is SO important. It's taken me the past 16 months of putting this idea into practice and seeing great results... some times. HA! I wish I could just say that I've figured it out and gotten results and then end it. However, the fact is for months (ACK! Who am I kidding sometimes weeks) I will be diligent at saying "Put the toys in the trunk". I will be diligent at taking the toy away when it isn't done - natural action/lack of action = consequence without threat. Until one day I don't "feel" like taking it away, or I look at those beautiful sweet eyes and my heart says "Aww, but he LOVES that toy." and suddenly the weeks or months of great action is all undone. We are back to square one. Maybe this is just me, but when this happens I tend to forget all of those great actions and end up right back at the "If you....I will...." stage.<br />
Nancy Thomas strongly encourages minimizing toys and play time with kids who have attachment disorders in order to teach total and complete obedience. Why do we need to have complete control and require this level of obedience from our kids? Because the reality is, until their brains are healed they don't know how to make good, appropriate decisions. Even typical kids don't really know how to make great decisions do they? If you ask your 4 year old what they want to eat for breakfast how many of them are going to say "I would like some fresh, unsweetened fruit and plain yogurt please?" If that is your child then CONGRATULATIONS! You are doing awesome! Keep it up! For the rest of us, we have to guide our children to make good choices. They learn by watching us and seeing what we will do and what we will allow. <br /> SO! Why legos and trains? Because this encourages imagination and creativity. I'm always amazed when all my kids have are legos what fun things they start to think up all on their own. My 5 year old daughter the other day made and iron and ironing board out of legos. How awesome is that - now that I'm thinking of it, I really should have taken a picture ;) When they get bored with the legos, guess what they do? (Assuming they've put them away of course ;) ) They ask for paper and crayons or they go play outside! Thumbs up to that, right?!<br />
<br />
Ok, so as I sit here typing and look around me, I find Lance laying next to me. (He really just loves having someone next to him - although holding or playing with him is SOO much better) The rest of the kids are actually in the midst of cleaning up those legos and trains, and I'm off to start our night time routine.<br />
If you've related to this post please comment - we're all in this together. Stay strong Mamas! Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-30591257691222729902015-04-10T00:02:00.000-07:002015-04-10T00:02:07.748-07:00Revival of the blog ;) Please "Like" us on FACEBOOK.... It only takes a second! http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine<br />
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<br />
Well I pretty much typed a big long post and then promptly deleted it. Hate it when that happens! So sorry, I guess this is going to really be a short version of what I want to say.<br />
<br />
Elliott had his first of many VEPTR rod expansion surgeries and did amazing!! We got to go home the same day. He went home on oxycodone, he did start complaining that his back hurt and not wanting to move about a half hour before I could give him his next dose. Some friends of ours had given us some Oregano oil and I figured it was worth trying until I could give him more meds. A half hour later I walked in to give him the meds and he had the biggest smile on his face, "Mom! My back doesn't hurt anymore!" He got up and played after that and anytime he would complain of pain I would offer him "Medicine" or "Oil. Guess what? He chose the oil over the heavy duty pain meds every time!! Yup, I was pretty impressed.<br />
He has had some struggles with pressure ulcers which we are watching closely. We ordered him a new bed and pressure relief mattress which I am really hoping will prevent that skin break down. <br />
I'm most excited about the fact that I found a geneticist that specializes in Ehlers Danlos. Elliott got an appointment with him in June (MUCH quicker than the usual 2 year wait list!) and I am really looking forward to getting some insight into possibly issues we may need to address and hopefully some preventative measures we can take to give Elliott the best chance possible!<br />
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Lance is funny and happy. We hear little giggles more and more from him which is the best sound in the world. He has been having some really scary episodes where he basically just goes unconscious. We've had to start treating him with seizure meds and have already had to increase the dosing because they have not been well controlled. We knew he was a high risk for seizures and had initially come home with a seizure diagnosis, but we have not had to treat for them and hadn't seen any activity for 15 months. <br />
We've recently decided to "reject their reality and substitute our own" (to borrow a line from MythBusters ;) ) regarding the permanency of cerebral palsy. The general consensus of professionals is that CP is not reversible or curable. I believe this is true - HOWEVER I also believe that God created the human body to heal from injury. I believe that while people used to insist that the world was flat that it is, in reality, ROUND. I believe that while people scoffed at the idea of man being able to fly, the fact is man is capable of "flying the blue skies." So, at the end of the day I am choosing to believe that the limitations and "expectations" placed on children with cerebral palsy are not set in stone and we will fight to find ways to help Lance reach his utmost potential. WHO'S WITH ME?! <br /> <br />
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<br />
FINALLY .... there is a beautiful little girl in Elliott and Lance's country that desperately needs a family. She has some major physical needs, but all of them can and should be treated. It will take a special family to provide this little soul with the medical care and attention she will need. No two ways about it - ADOPTION IS HARD. I am here to say that while it is definitely hard it is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND WORTH IT!! Please take 30 seconds to pray for Mary Ellen and maybe even share her link on facebook or with a friend. <a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/68522/mary-ellen" target="_blank">MARY ELLEN</a>Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-13965571359157070112014-08-26T23:23:00.001-07:002014-08-26T23:23:18.054-07:00Reality...is....not......easy<br />
We survived the entire summer with the halo on Elliott. He got about 25 degree improvement on his spine, but boy did he deserve that improvement. Putting a kid like Elliott who has finally found freedom and started moving and discovering in a wheelchair that he is suspended in and can't move independently in was TORTURE. We saw a different side of Elliott, he lost a lot of light in his pretty brown eyes and honestly just seemed depressed. <br />
The beginning of August he was scheduled to have the halo removed and have growing rods called VEPTR placed in his spine. This is a system that requires two surgeries per year to adjust the length as he grows. They were supposed to hook onto his ribs, but when they went in for the surgery they discovered that his ribs are far too thin and frail to bear that kind of weight so they had to change course and place them on the spine itself. Initially we were told that he would probably be able to go to the normal floor and go home in two or three days. They also said that he would be up walking the next day.....um.....no! He ended up in ICU for about three days where he was given an ND tube and a blood transfusion (For those of you who don't know an ND tube is a nasoduodenum tube which surpasses the stomach and supplies food directly into the top of the intestine) we spent almost another week in the hospital and eventually got to go home after a long week with lots of hurdles. He still was only walking supported for a few minutes at a time and would cry the entire time. He's been home a couple of weeks (including a day in the ER with pneumonia) on a feeding tube and oxygen and is only just now starting to show an interest in moving independently. It will be a long road to recovery, but we know this was truly his best chance for his lungs to develop the very best they possibly can. His spine looks SO much straighter - it is absolutely amazing. <br />
We will be back in Denver at the Children's hospital for a follow up in a few weeks and he will likely be having at least one more surgery before the end of the year for feeding and GI issues.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Waiting with Daddy to get his halo taken off</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On his way back to surgery - feeling good with the help of some meds.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pretty miserable</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A week in and starting to smile again</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not happy about having to sit up </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finally up and walking and not even crying!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saying goodbye to his favorite purple cow at the hospital - also the only purple cow</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_H8iM2JY_SfXImjY9zKUX6uZwV9Se0A4AKSCBPoLVlrwadOH6K_GAIVmoBFH-h0C2szklwv6GaABjcbd4hkt0TbjUHuGyXlUQ5cmqf1IYe4z7fF3dqE8IYhKb61U07rm_IpL0Vsby1_E/s1600/CAM00695.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_H8iM2JY_SfXImjY9zKUX6uZwV9Se0A4AKSCBPoLVlrwadOH6K_GAIVmoBFH-h0C2szklwv6GaABjcbd4hkt0TbjUHuGyXlUQ5cmqf1IYe4z7fF3dqE8IYhKb61U07rm_IpL0Vsby1_E/s1600/CAM00695.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Asleep on the long ride home</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHl2Vp7jn2-9FDzk3GG434ILGZ5atDOTKAyK7uDtV4jZCDv4NPej4TDPkrA4avBu4DQL1vE2dK1NG_rcDTwTOmVkU6yZGds8FWJVEV-tTdiFbp7mu5Hrf33AFbmQkFxKIpma3KijuoFOs/s1600/CAM00711.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHl2Vp7jn2-9FDzk3GG434ILGZ5atDOTKAyK7uDtV4jZCDv4NPej4TDPkrA4avBu4DQL1vE2dK1NG_rcDTwTOmVkU6yZGds8FWJVEV-tTdiFbp7mu5Hrf33AFbmQkFxKIpma3KijuoFOs/s1600/CAM00711.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the ER two days later with Pneumonia :P </td></tr>
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<br />
Lance is on a diet! Ok, so not a real diet, but yes his therapist and doctors did say he needed to cut back calories and slow down on the weight gain. LOL (Who would have thought?) With kids who have a hard time controlling muscle movement in the first place the extra weight can be especially detrimental, so it isn't that Lance is overweight or unhealthy, he just has to maintain a trimmer physique to encourage as much voluntary movement as possible. <br />
He is having a couple surgical procedures done tomorrow as well as botox injections to help keep his muscles relaxed and again help him with movement and tone. He is also developing scoliosis in part because of his dislocated hip. We were really hoping to get another year before we needed to have the hip surgery done, but it is looking eminent - like in the next few months. :/ This is a pretty major surgery and again a long recovery time.<br />
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In the last 9 months since the boys came home, I have learned about more things than I even knew existed. I have been stretched and tried and learned a lot of things about myself that I never realized - it hasn't always been pretty. I won't lie, this road is ROUGH, it's HARD, it's frustrating, and sometimes disheartening. I feel and see my weaknesses every day. I praise God though that when I am weak then I am strong because some days that must mean I am VERY strong. At the end of the day though, I can say that I love my children and my husband more than life itself. I am honored that God called me to this difficult road and I can't wait to find a little more of His strength at the in the midst of each struggle.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6s7QYb8y0sEGto_jXrEbQ-FUqDLtkIg0WhN-1uFoPXgs1Z66jnObU-LZrSMDB5_5kKibrLejvxQNMGwK781vZ-JDAvYU4wR6Hqxnnn5i26U0OGQUgmH7bwcB9486HGF8h9k0P9Opvygg/s1600/CAM00587.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6s7QYb8y0sEGto_jXrEbQ-FUqDLtkIg0WhN-1uFoPXgs1Z66jnObU-LZrSMDB5_5kKibrLejvxQNMGwK781vZ-JDAvYU4wR6Hqxnnn5i26U0OGQUgmH7bwcB9486HGF8h9k0P9Opvygg/s1600/CAM00587.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lance is rocking his plethera of equipment: a back brace, hand braces, a wedge for his hips, and bananas to help his head stability</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAxxpQxFH3T2UFLXHhIAUab_avdoHqTJiOXwDqAuZS_wwvj1S_HR9ROQpYayQH_xKKfibLhMQunlnokcQPXxmoAB-kCiOfqiTZHGEZbFiqPclaW3Jlzz4AFAmIYIYy1dlrpmhjo7Su7ec/s1600/CAM00707.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAxxpQxFH3T2UFLXHhIAUab_avdoHqTJiOXwDqAuZS_wwvj1S_HR9ROQpYayQH_xKKfibLhMQunlnokcQPXxmoAB-kCiOfqiTZHGEZbFiqPclaW3Jlzz4AFAmIYIYy1dlrpmhjo7Su7ec/s1600/CAM00707.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So naughty and demanding attention, but always happy when he gets it! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUl1sb8VsaAC7ODN9m_jzC_Ivb4KCKTZMnxzn9259QCGTKcVZoYR5zE4KlGkwPcb_44icDrb_-FGquMVqfzHUan5IkAkzTOb6l_nn007JsREj68fKI_y_FrW9aBzgLWdANFwLJEiyi3nY/s1600/CAM00579.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUl1sb8VsaAC7ODN9m_jzC_Ivb4KCKTZMnxzn9259QCGTKcVZoYR5zE4KlGkwPcb_44icDrb_-FGquMVqfzHUan5IkAkzTOb6l_nn007JsREj68fKI_y_FrW9aBzgLWdANFwLJEiyi3nY/s1600/CAM00579.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lovin summer! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMi_1XSbfkzNTsU_0op9JWX-TTAOJ8DY-EpDwBqLidsQkUBNeEDPKz8byURQ3wZ-on2WUf4xSq4lHDESyYM6clN1p283QcMkJoCHtRrVG0PDFAL-2M6LPXQQXcVxS9RBzDu3wCzKft7xM/s1600/CAM00559.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMi_1XSbfkzNTsU_0op9JWX-TTAOJ8DY-EpDwBqLidsQkUBNeEDPKz8byURQ3wZ-on2WUf4xSq4lHDESyYM6clN1p283QcMkJoCHtRrVG0PDFAL-2M6LPXQQXcVxS9RBzDu3wCzKft7xM/s1600/CAM00559.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Um, too cool for school?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKbGcANMW082k7DcfKMJXqozxOV3gs2d_R4VynADNJbdX5-rCprRpb76STdQEXR8Xg45jv7OpyP_wllty0a45Y8ZMR-xQPMRZHZiczQUO79Ac1gyozpDuOj2d6vUG13APEamoovMnjOgI/s1600/CAM00544.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKbGcANMW082k7DcfKMJXqozxOV3gs2d_R4VynADNJbdX5-rCprRpb76STdQEXR8Xg45jv7OpyP_wllty0a45Y8ZMR-xQPMRZHZiczQUO79Ac1gyozpDuOj2d6vUG13APEamoovMnjOgI/s1600/CAM00544.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Basking in the sun with daddy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGYpZYJ5FF1T9_dhLwG6WMK-7cUdKn_Jt7Q2vff5vpxvR1k222H_4UK1QXQaKYrkDkkQpX-tAOB6jcsyEePKx33HjSwWUU9zuwgoiCkWF8TVBYm503KFtKorlMPxZIbo8-GSEelBFWCvU/s1600/CAM00541.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGYpZYJ5FF1T9_dhLwG6WMK-7cUdKn_Jt7Q2vff5vpxvR1k222H_4UK1QXQaKYrkDkkQpX-tAOB6jcsyEePKx33HjSwWUU9zuwgoiCkWF8TVBYm503KFtKorlMPxZIbo8-GSEelBFWCvU/s1600/CAM00541.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Add caption</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaQyJGURN3zRPkXDR75OtKprjPayiKERHpci8Ep_e_vKoUlllJ9aZP7vMgHAFMbYJ38TFpQfC2igaITksqiO4pnOTA_yGKm4CJjIFqS_K_knnWLsVZ4tvTRmkE5vsfJaYT1hHJgRzowoA/s1600/CAM00500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaQyJGURN3zRPkXDR75OtKprjPayiKERHpci8Ep_e_vKoUlllJ9aZP7vMgHAFMbYJ38TFpQfC2igaITksqiO4pnOTA_yGKm4CJjIFqS_K_knnWLsVZ4tvTRmkE5vsfJaYT1hHJgRzowoA/s1600/CAM00500.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cuddling with mom</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDBB4oxbpdpjQQLEOlRaIMcGg_Rm3k8EmNciU912887NzmDifkOMDOkhrHcKpeysXZ4ssgKvvhmrzdSymuiDQzyfGzPbE4PKdNMd3qPJ50DajYvgxCAH6p061P1ke-5xKLJYnvxGX9lKM/s1600/CAM00471.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDBB4oxbpdpjQQLEOlRaIMcGg_Rm3k8EmNciU912887NzmDifkOMDOkhrHcKpeysXZ4ssgKvvhmrzdSymuiDQzyfGzPbE4PKdNMd3qPJ50DajYvgxCAH6p061P1ke-5xKLJYnvxGX9lKM/s1600/CAM00471.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So handsome and yes chubby little cheekers! </td></tr>
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<br />Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-59432800866738363992014-06-11T12:25:00.001-07:002014-06-11T12:25:20.154-07:00Elliott is 6!!! <br />
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I'm sorry I haven't really updated this for a while (Hangs head in shame). The last few weeks/months have been really busy so please be patient with this post as I am almost certain it will be scrambled! <br />
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Elliott and I went to Denver Children's hospital May 15 for his halo placement.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIvR3H6pXRixepwq_uB2OBKsGZIH_gnuVVYXlT1EDz6OkXyCGF9GLeMvRrHYfvFa7eemma8slgFnuU4ilnJisAGsU1CEtrEnU6e5bxeN-DoMm8mUV6Q9VoPDP2-HTj7amoMFGAybZhuus/s1600/10349969_10202568689832800_9200879339804908807_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIvR3H6pXRixepwq_uB2OBKsGZIH_gnuVVYXlT1EDz6OkXyCGF9GLeMvRrHYfvFa7eemma8slgFnuU4ilnJisAGsU1CEtrEnU6e5bxeN-DoMm8mUV6Q9VoPDP2-HTj7amoMFGAybZhuus/s1600/10349969_10202568689832800_9200879339804908807_n.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elliott waiting for surgery</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWV_vZqGMbja2Qq0qHQ5bmH0eGYVnvwNliWzC1JPYsp9cIh0kD3Ei_5WMjwhfsAP91qZIw31QcPeO7-lNZO2k4SnMA9eBN0mg8_sIkA0jFKKFqcue4AR7JJTjVwgpCT3hyphenhyphenVnzdrq_nHX4/s1600/10262122_10202568732713872_5577345958039538678_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWV_vZqGMbja2Qq0qHQ5bmH0eGYVnvwNliWzC1JPYsp9cIh0kD3Ei_5WMjwhfsAP91qZIw31QcPeO7-lNZO2k4SnMA9eBN0mg8_sIkA0jFKKFqcue4AR7JJTjVwgpCT3hyphenhyphenVnzdrq_nHX4/s1600/10262122_10202568732713872_5577345958039538678_n.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notice that his foot and leg are "casually" completely backward? That would be Ehlers-Danlos for you ;) <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Living in an orphanage and never having the stability and love of a family really takes it's toll on a little person, and that has become increasingly evident over the past month. It started when we got to the hospital and Elliott's anxiety became increasingly worse with every person that walked into the room. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Surgery itself, which involved drilling eight screws into Elliott's skull, surprisingly only lasted about 40 minutes. As far as pain management was concerned Elliott did really well. Emotionally Elliott woke up to a halo drilled just above his eyebrows and PANICKED!! Let me tell you! They gave him something to help with the anxiety and it was still awful. Can you imagine waking up to this: </span></div>
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Well, neither did Elliott. After a few days he adjusted and started to really love being the center of attention - everyone in the hospital knew who he was since mostly he spent his time riding the elevator and in a contraption like his he was hard to miss:<br />
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He learned to take his own vitals (well, almost) and the nurses adored him. He was even nominated as hero of the month!!! <br />
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We were in the hospital for a week and it was hard. The last day there Elliott really started to show some of his old orphanage behaviors. We were discharged on Wednesday, but not before getting evacuated to the hallways for a tornado warning and YES This is a real picture of the tornado happening right by the hospital while we were there and No, I didn't take it since I was stuck in the hallway ;) : <br />
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Once we got home I was hoping things would settle back a little bit, but the reality set in for both Elliott and I. The fact is that Elliott is supposed to be in traction from the moment he gets up in the morning until he goes to bed. The traction set up prevent shim from being able to move independently and he can't even look down to see his own food or look up to talk to anyone taller than him. He drops things and can't pick them up, he doesn't have a lot of play skills because he never learned how to play (a simple thing that we all take for granted - knowing how to play) so most of what I hear throughout the day is: Mommy, can you help me? (*pick up a wash rag) Mommy, can you help me (*Play with this toy) Mommmmmy, can you help with my jacket? Mommmmmmmmy, can you help me pick this up? Mommmmmmmmmmy, can I please take off my halo? (Which is not an option without anesthesia and a surgeon) Mommmmmmmmmy? Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy? Are you getting the idea? We are READY to get this traction nonsense taken off! <br />
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Now, having said that, we have worked on finding things for him to do that he likes and that will keep him entertained for at least 5 minutes, including busy bags, a busy board, glitter jars, and scissors with paper. (Ahem, most of those don't work for him because he wants mom to do them all for him - sorry, buddy, I can't play for you) He is adjusting though and physically we have seen his spine go from a 90 degree curve to about 65 degrees. We will go back in about a week to hopefully see what comes next. Our likely options will include a cycle of traction/bracing/traction/bracing etc... or growing rods which will need to be adjusted every 6 months or so. If we continue with the traction cycle Elliott will have a lot of frustrations and it still includes some type of surgery every few months, if we go with the growing rods we will be looking at a very intensive surgery, possibly a feeding tube temporarily to help him gain as much weight and strength as possible leading up to and immediately following the surgery. Either option is stressful and will be difficult, but the reality is, that with the severity of Elliott's scoliosis we can NOT do nothing. His lungs and internal organs will be severely compromised and shorten his life if we leave it - those are the facts Jack. <br />
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Alright, so this is getting to be a long post and I really need to be taking care of those little rascals that are currently either playing with play-doh, in the sandbox, or throwing little pieces of paper that have just been cut to bits (Can you guess which one?) with the exception of Lance-bo who is contentedly sleeping in the living room ;) <br />
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Here are a few more pictures of our newest 6 year old!! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2G8ihIvyHS7_qkyLDUcO4I-opPUb6V8DGNRTRzl2ZBGBxva_8ydRzxq9lOdkaImJRIZBYqqAmKyBZX78szISKsjuht4wWa3NqpFiygyn2w50x0wSHBKkj8UTA1pv3Wv_k3rSddfvcqAM/s1600/10154005_10202639960094512_3117000749092679138_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2G8ihIvyHS7_qkyLDUcO4I-opPUb6V8DGNRTRzl2ZBGBxva_8ydRzxq9lOdkaImJRIZBYqqAmKyBZX78szISKsjuht4wWa3NqpFiygyn2w50x0wSHBKkj8UTA1pv3Wv_k3rSddfvcqAM/s1600/10154005_10202639960094512_3117000749092679138_n.jpg" height="320" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Roasting marshmallows </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">FINALLY we get to go home and look what fun and enormous equipment! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elliott celebrating his 6th birthday</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtG6nTT1_uP6zTOndYy9GU0wV4FOrfXdUirhr-8XQB1hPSBJwl3lg2Y79ICqFtcrMMFyyUDtWMJJtv67Ov47lYHr1h6bSVSckqoiElZcx4x8GbUspy106Vanf54P9C3R2AtWyG0wZLqq4/s1600/10366088_10202579951034323_3693233736895878597_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtG6nTT1_uP6zTOndYy9GU0wV4FOrfXdUirhr-8XQB1hPSBJwl3lg2Y79ICqFtcrMMFyyUDtWMJJtv67Ov47lYHr1h6bSVSckqoiElZcx4x8GbUspy106Vanf54P9C3R2AtWyG0wZLqq4/s1600/10366088_10202579951034323_3693233736895878597_n.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After a day or two Elliott finally discovered the purpose of that triangle above his head: It's a perfect place for his foot! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Working out those arms! </td></tr>
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Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-36684516514352542612014-04-16T20:55:00.002-07:002014-04-16T20:55:59.856-07:00ElliottSorry for the late update, but here goes! <br />
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I picked Elliott up from the orphanage on December 2, 2013. He was all smiles and the orphanage staff obviously loved him and were happy for him. We had a slew of appointments and that first day was pretty much hectic. We spent the next few days in Bulgaria. This was a HARD week friends. I mean hard. I missed my husband, I missed my kids, and life was full of unknowns and it was scary. Elliott liked to pull hair and broke more than one of the hotel's glasses by throwing them, he got into the trash, tried to open the hotel door and escape regularly, and I was beginning to realize that I would need to have an eye on him constantly. I messaged Todd about a day in and told him to Elliott-proof the house - put locks on doors and trash cans, buy lots of baby gates, etc... We went shopping at the indoor market one day and while I was buying tea, I realized that Elliott (who was in a stroller) had grabbed ahold of a little old lady's purse! I. Was. Mortified! The lady was very gracious and sweet, but I learned quickly that every person we passed he would try to grab a hold of something of theirs and then laugh about it. :O<br />
We boarded the plane in Sofia on Friday morning and flew half way across the world to get home. Elliott did really well on the planes, except that he threw everything! I felt really bad for the passengers behind us, because every time the flight attendants came by they gave him something and he would promptly throw it behind him...cups, pillows, crayons, books....I had help from a good friend who mostly helped with Lance on the flights, but the very last flight I was by myself. I wanted to sob when we landed. I was absolutely EXHAUSTED and honestly worried about what this new life would look like. I waited on the plane for someone to help me deplane since I obviously couldn't carry both Lance and Elliott off. I didn't have a chance to wash my face or brush my hair and I'm pretty sure that I was a disheveled mess. I hadn't stopped to do my makeup or brush my hair since we had boarded the flight in Sofia. We were greeted by daddy, siblings, nana, aunts, and a few friends. They were all there to meet these two strangers who were now a part of our family. I wanted nothing more than to fall into my husband's arms, hug my little ones and go to bed. <br />
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That first week was hard. It was emotional for all of us. Lance needed to be fed almost around the clock, several of the kids were sick and Elliott decided that he didn't want to eat any more. The only way I was able to get calories into Elliott was to rock him and give him a high calorie bottle. (Yes, I know that he is 5 and many of you will think that is the oddest thing in the world - but to a little boy who has never had a mom rock him and feed him, he needed this and emotionally he was a newborn) <br />
Ok....so it has been over 4 months and honestly I can laugh at the fact that my 5 year old son was trying to pick pocket little old ladies in a market in Bulgaria. I can laugh at the fact that we were charged $15 for a cheap glass at the hotel and I can laugh when I think about the little "yoda" voice that he made the whole week we were in the hotel whenever he was about to get into trouble. I look back and I realize just how absolutely stressed Elliott was at the time. He doesn't do any of those things now, and the house doesn't need to be "Elliott-proofed" because he wants SO MUCH to obey. Yes, he is a 5 year old little boy and he gets into mischief every now and then, but he is such an amazing kid! He loves to just sit on my lap, he tells me he loves me, asks if he can help me make the bed or load the dishwasher, he says "I love you Mama, I love you so much!" He gives kisses and hugs and loves having a family and we adore having him! He makes me smile every day. He loves to talk and repeats everything he hears. He wasn't walking independently when he came home and now he walks all over the place and keeps up for the most part. He counts to 13, knows most of the colors including purple, orange, black, and white...his favorite color is green this week - last week it was yellow ;). He knows the letter "R" and what it says and is learning to ask for things in complete sentences for example: instead of "glasses?" he says "Can I have please my glasses?" (yes, he says "have please" instead of "please have")<br />
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Ok, physically: Elliott has had a couple of B U S Y weeks. Let me start by telling you what Elliott was diagnosed with from the orphanage. When we first saw Elliott's file he was listed as having "Freeman Sheldon Syndrome" which is a very rare form of Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita, a condition which causes multiple contractures before birth. For those of you who may not be aware, a contracture is a joint that is "fixed" or stiff. Many kids with AMC aren't able to bend their arms, or their legs, or their wrists. Freeman Sheldon Syndrome in specific is known as "whistling face" syndrome because the people with this syndrome have the appearance that they are whistling. When I met Elliott last June, I was pretty convinced that he did NOT have AMC because not only were his joints not fixed, but they were actually loose. He did not have the characteristics of Freeman Sheldon Syndrome at all. However, the orphanage INSISTED that he had genetic testing done and that it was PROVEN that he has this syndrome. I learned after bringing Elliott home that the genetic test actually stated that he did NOT have that (no shock there!) So this begs the question: What does Elliott have? His major issues are tissue paper skin (it is velvety feeling, tears, and bruises easily and does not heal well), he has FLOPPY joints, and almost no muscle tone, and the most noticeable feature is severe scoliosis. <br />
In the last month Elliott has seen cardiology, had an Echocardiogram, EKG, full sedated MRI of his spine, 4 x-rays taken 3 separate times, had blood drawn, seen the opthamologist, pulmonologist, nutritionist, had orthotics made, seen the orthopedist in Grand Junction, seen the orthopedic surgeon in Denver Children's Hospital, had a genetic test done, and finally seen the geneticist. (Not to mention the regular physical therapy appointments and pediatrician) What does all of this mean? His hips are sublexed but not yet dislocated, his heart is fine, his lungs and breathing are fine, he got glasses (which he loves), he does not have arthrogryposis, he is having orthotics made for his ankles and feet to help stabilize him and help him walk, we will follow up regularly on his hips, and we will keep working to get him to gain weight. <br />
What DOES Elliott have? He has a connective tissue disorder that is genetic called Ehlers Danlos type 6a. This explains all of his symptoms and it is likely that his biological siblings or parents may have this as well. He was probably born with the scoliosis and it has just continued to progress. It is a rare type and the geneticist didn't have many answers for me except to tell me that there really is no way to treat his low tone, tissue paper skin, or ligament laxity. Basically - nothing changes except that now we have a name to call it ;) Our biggest concern for Elliott is his scoliosis, generally doctors start recommending rod placement once scoliosis reaches a 40 degree curve - Elliott's was close to 80 degrees when we got him in December and has already progressed about 10 degrees. It is not going to stop and eventually will compress his organs if we don't do something. Our options are very limited to either halo traction or rod placement. Right now we are trying to prolong the rod placement as long as possible (this is a 9 hour surgery and long recovery - not to mention two additional surgeries each year while he is growing) After discussing the options with several different medical professionals we have decided that our best and least invasive option at this point is to start with the halo traction. This will involve 8 screws drilled into his skull, a week in the Children's Hospital in Denver, and traction for several weeks if not months. If you aren't familiar with the halo traction set up, let me fill you in: <br />
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Yep, this ^^^ for months! I have NO IDEA how we will transport this little boy around in this contraption, but I'm sure we will get it figured out! <br />
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Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-8925716543371259562014-04-10T20:24:00.002-07:002015-04-20T19:27:16.900-07:00What happens when no-one chooses you. Oh Lord have mercy on me to write a post that glorifies you and comes across in the manner it is meant. <br />
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When I met Lance almost a year ago in a run down orphanage in a beautiful college town I was torn. On one hand I had heard from other families that this was not a good orphanage...the children coming out of this place were scared and not well cared for. Years after they have been home they continue to struggle because their scars are deep - yes, big physical scars, ones that you can see that would make you cringe...but also emotional. Emotional scars run far deeper and take much longer to heal.<br />
On the other hand, when I arrived I was told that there was a brand new director (who had been there less than a week). I felt HOPE! I felt encouraged that maybe this woman had a true heart for these children and would make some real changes for the better.<br />
What I found was locked doors, secrecy, and a hush hush atmosphere. I met the director and thought that truly she had not had a chance to make improvements and I understood! I asked her (I have a video of this!) if it would be possible to bring a group of people to come minister and help the children and she responded with a surprising "YES! If it is ok with the Ministry of Justice." I asked "Can I pay for Lance to receive therapy while he waits?" and this also was responded with a surprising "YES!" and an introduction to a therapist who I was able to observe working with Lance. At the end of the week, while I was hurting for my malnourished 3 year old, I did feel that sense of hope. <br />
A week later...I heard from my attorney that the director had changed her mind and refused to allow the therapist to come...because she said he had a therapist who worked with him already. Although they had told me several times that this was not the case and insisted that he had not received ANY therapy in the last 6 months - and his contracted, stressed body reflected that. I was upset, frustrated, and confused. Was I lied to by this woman? Was she confused? What was the REAL story behind those locked doors and dark stairways?<br />
I asked a few months ago if there was a possibility that a ministry team could go this summer or fall to that same orphanage and was upset, but not surprised when I received an e-mail saying "The director does not agree." Still, I thought - they are familiar with me, familiar with Lance, and she had told me this was a possibility so maybe she will allow me to go without a team...maybe that will be less invasive and intimidating for her. Last week I got another e-mail "The director does not agree." I was devastated. This is NOT a good sign. A director who cares for the children in her orphanage will accept help and welcome it...I have been in the orphanage before so if she had nothing to hide nothing would have surprised me. I know it is a poor orphanage, I know what the building and elevators look like, I know what they feed the children.<br />
I really have this to say...as painful as it is: Something is AMISS in this place. The children in this orphanage are not loved and well cared for. They are hurting and dying. Many of them will go home to their Heavenly home before they ever know the love of an earthly family. <br />
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Will YOU please help be a voice to these children? YOU can blog about them, YOU can share them on your facebook walls, YOU can GO GET THEM! <br />
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Samson is one of these children...do you see his eyes pleading? Do you see the pain in his contorted little body? His file was returned this month, once again giving the director and the workers in the place the belief that he really is not worth caring about. The placing agency has requested his file again so we can continue to search for a family for him and he will not be forgotten, left at the bottom of the file pile. <br />
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This was Lance when I met him in this place less than a year ago (14 pounds at 3 years old) : <br />
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This are some pictures of Lance taken earlier this week after he has been home 4 months: <br />
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Samson is capable of so much more! Most importantly though - comfort and love! </div>
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<span style="color: red;">I wrote this post over a year ago and never published it, but I felt that maybe it was a good idea to at this point, because the reality is. Samson did not find a family in time and he died never knowing the love of an earthly mother or father. He is now in the arms of his Heavenly Father forever, but once again the amount of pain and neglect he suffered here on earth is unimaginable. I find myself wanting to shout WHY? Why is their so much hurt? Why didn't someone get to him in time? Why didn't the orphanage staff show him more love? The fact is that God called all of US to care for widows and orphans in their distress. When we ignore or neglect that call we ignore and neglect them. Our hand in their suffering is just as real as those who walked by his crib every day and did nothing. Friends, the plight of the orphan is not easy and is not fair, but WE can and SHOULD be doing SOMETHING. Does this mean you need to jump the next plane and bring home every child you can? No, I absolutely do not believe that. I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY believe that everyone can and should be providing for these children. Here are some ways you SHOULD be thinking of doing something if you don't feel that you are able or ready to adopt yourselves:</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">1. Find a child that you are drawn to, print off their picture and then tell people about them</span></div>
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<span style="color: red;">2. Share this blog or another adoption blog with your friends - you never know who is being called to bring a child home! </span></div>
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<span style="color: red;">3. Donate toward an adoption! Trust me - sometimes the $3 donations were more encouraging to me than anything else. Plus I personally saw God multiply every dollar.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red;">4. PRAY for the widows and orphans. - At the least, do this! </span></div>
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<span style="color: red;">5. If you are considering or have considered using essential oils for your family in the past I know of an amazing mom who is adopting again and was offered a matching grant $150 of every Premium Starter Kit ordered under her will be given toward her adoption! (<a href="https://www.youngliving.com/signup/?sponsorid=2718331&enrollerid=2453064" target="_blank">GO! Order some oils and bless two more orphans!</a>)! (You can read about the child that Jennifer adopted from Ukraine and understand why I am passionate about getting this family funded </span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><a href="http://onemorelightofmine.blogspot.com/p/found.html" target="_blank">Look for "JACOB"</a></span></div>
<a href="http://onemorelightofmine.blogspot.com/2013/10/our-journey-to-lance-and-elliot-part-1.html" target="_blank">How "Jacob" lit our fire to adopt Lance</a><br />
<a href="http://onemorelightofmine.blogspot.com/2013/01/god-used-jacob-to-lead-our-family.html" target="_blank">And another story of how "Jacob" changed our lives</a><br />
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<br />Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-81267411034671457622014-04-09T21:50:00.000-07:002014-04-09T21:50:58.555-07:00Lance-boPlease "Like" us on FACEBOOK.... It only takes a second! <a href="http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine">http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine</a><br />
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18 Months ago we started our adoption. I watched as families brought home children. I got jealous and frustrated when others who had started their adoptions after we did brought their kids home and got to watch them grow and change. I agonized over political changes as Bulgaria held elections that caused things to slow down and kept me from my children. I reminded myself over and over that this was all in God's perfect timing and wisdom, but BOY was it HARD! <br />
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I worried and stressed about Lance for months before I met him. Was he ok? Was he being taken care of? Was he cold? Was he sick? But the biggest question on my mind was the one I was almost afraid to ask: Was he still alive? I got a report on him a few months before I met him that informed me that at 3 years old he was 14 pounds and I cried for him. Part of me had expected this and was even relieved that he was not smaller, but another part of me panicked about what reality would look like when I met him. I finally got travel dates and the end of May I boarded a series of long flights that would finally take me to Bulgaria and to an orphanage to see my 3 year old son who I had never met. Immediately I was informed that there was a new director who had started a few days before and she had not arrived at work yet. I waited for hours pacing back and forth in the entry way wringing my hands and getting more and more anxious. I was finally just STEPS from my son and I couldn't see him!! When they brought him to the meeting room several hours after we had arrived I was stunned. He had gotten longer, his face had gotten skinnier, he had gotten teeth! He was the same baby, but OH so different. He was stiff and uncomfortable. I had a few hours a day with him for 5 days and he cried for most of our visits. He was difficult to hold and unhappy. I would put him down and he would SCREAM -that was not the solution. I would sit down while I held him and he would tense up and cry out - also not the solution. The only way I could remotely keep him comforted was by holding him facing out and pacing the floor of a small unclean room with a space heater blaring in 80 degree weather.<br />
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6 months later took me back to Bulgaria and back to that entrance. This time I didn't have to wait for hours and I didn't go down the dark elevator to the basement visiting room. This time they brought Lance to the main floor and let me get him dressed. This was a whirlwind. I remember they brought Lance (wrapped in pink) to me and handed him to me to dress him. He had actually made progress since I had seen him in May. He wasn't quite as tense and had even put on a pound. I watched the social worker hand sheets of paper to my translator along with an explanation of a list of medications Lance was on. This was it! This was not just a pipe dream any more. I was not just happily "rescuing" my little boy. This was reality! I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS LIFE! The magnitude of that realization hit me at that moment like a ton of bricks. I could feel my stomach drop to the floor and all of the color fade from my face. Can I do this? My dear sweet travel companion assured me that all would be fine and that the meds were nothing to stress about. We bundled Lance up and headed out into the chilly November weather. Not the iconic moment I had been envisioning of a long video marking Lance's FIRST moment out of the orphanage doors, but a rushed moment as we had to get back to Sofia to pick up Elliott. I struggled to get Lance's stiff body into a carseat I was unfamiliar with and then climbed in next to him. The next hour and half was LONG to say the least. Here I was, his mother, solely responsible for him at that moment and knowing almost nothing about him. He cried and screamed the whole e.n.t.i.r.e way to Sofia. My head was filled with questions and concerns, trying to wrap my head around this new life while the driver and my travel buddy tried to help and offer suggestions. All I could think was "I should be able to comfort and help him...but I can't." I am insufficient! <br />
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I spent the first month bottle feeding 3 ounces at a time which would take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half to get in. By the end of each feed I was covered in coughed out, spit out, sneezed out formula (which was a high calorie concoction of pediasure, pudding, and olive oil). Lance was tired and soon it would be time to eat again. The next month brought a new life, a new mama, and a new Lance. The therapist showed me that Lance's patterning of tensing up could EASILY be controlled by a few positioning tricks and the tight stressed little boy suddenly melted in my arms like butter. He still has spasms and those patterns will not be broken overnight but this little trick gave me unbelievable hope. I truly doubted if he would ever be able to fully relax those tight muscles. The other HUGE change that came about this month was the realization that he was aspirating almost everything he was taking in. It was a miracle that he was tolerating so much aspiration, but he had somehow learned to handle it. Still, we now knew how dangerous oral feeding was for him and combined with the fact that we were spending at least 6 hours a day of one on one concentrated feeding time and he had barely gained any weight we scheduled him for a gastronomy tube. Off he went for a combination of G-tube placement, botox injections to help loosen his muscles, and an MRI of his brain...about 7 hours later we made it to the room he would be in for the next few days while he recovered. These days were priceless! I had an opportunity to comfort and love Lance without stressing about getting food into him. He needed me for one thing at that point and that was just to love him. I learned so much about him during those few days. He LOVES to be held. When he is in pain and hurting, the best thing in the world to him is to snuggle into his mama and feel loved. <br />
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So here we are! Lance has been home for 4 months. As I sat down to type this I started to realize all that those 4 months have brought, they have gone so quickly that it really doesn't seem possible for so much to have changed since the day we brought him home. BUT IT HAS!!! Lance came home weighing just barely 15 pounds, he was tense and miserable, he didn't smile, and never made any happy sounds. In fact, I truly wondered if he was capable of making happy sounds like laughter. He is now over 22 pounds, is cuddly and relaxed most of the time, smiles whenever someone comes near him or talks to him and he laughs when he is played with. He is a different child completely from the one I met last May or brought home the beginning of December. I look at those pictures and wonder how it is even possible for him to be the same child? That child was somber, pain-ridden, and starving. This child is HAPPY, full of life, and quickly getting a double chin ;) (I should also mention that of all the meds he needed to be on when we left the orphanage -including a nebulizer for asthma- the ONLY one he is still taking is an iron supplement!) <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ok I have to sneak this one in here. This was right after we brought Lance home. Notice how BIG my youngest son looks here.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was taken today...they are pretty close to the same size! </td></tr>
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Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-61576091871531641842014-03-19T08:49:00.000-07:002014-03-19T08:49:30.147-07:00SAMSONIt has been a busy month with lots of progress! The boys are doing terrific and we are absolutely blessed to have them in our lives. I want to write an update on their 3 MONTHS HOME, and am working on it ;) <br />
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HOWEVER, that is not the purpose of this post. There is a little boy half way around the world in a country close to my heart. He has been listed for international adoption SEVERAL times. The first time his little face was seen it looked like this: <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIaqt7xENRDFnuCgSeCyowDXHXwJXoMo_2lDdy5S8SHLn1ZR2O4pvbbhvbIduNV5iUYuR0rJbnaSMybnWGigxlhI9gxx8ihulEQqo2v2-_NnhY7lJa7wK82hxHAB-tsJ4gOz0jxNvf6Ps/s1600/Samson-278x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIaqt7xENRDFnuCgSeCyowDXHXwJXoMo_2lDdy5S8SHLn1ZR2O4pvbbhvbIduNV5iUYuR0rJbnaSMybnWGigxlhI9gxx8ihulEQqo2v2-_NnhY7lJa7wK82hxHAB-tsJ4gOz0jxNvf6Ps/s1600/Samson-278x300.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chubby happy baby<br />
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A little while longer...he waited. No-one wanted this chubby little boy. He laid in a crib, surrounded by green walls, and the only interaction he had was with white coats and rough hands. His little rosy cheeks faded into a blue tinged pale and began to sink...the sparkle in his handsome eyes was gone.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKsQa4EoOYhtnvDrszZC-_WQfZzlTvUD8z9Of6RrZoUOWTCAgxqoCmPm7oYolL9dxKeHQcj4wiRfyquu6wV892-8Jme9T1KCD5PikG8mUzSvtk3J9S9cDMfDomWOr5slsRCTLi911MbhM/s1600/Samson-Aug-2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKsQa4EoOYhtnvDrszZC-_WQfZzlTvUD8z9Of6RrZoUOWTCAgxqoCmPm7oYolL9dxKeHQcj4wiRfyquu6wV892-8Jme9T1KCD5PikG8mUzSvtk3J9S9cDMfDomWOr5slsRCTLi911MbhM/s1600/Samson-Aug-2013.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
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He was listed and this was the picture...no longer chubby, but now gaunt - starving! SAD! MISERABLE! People saw this picture, they saw the little bones that are surrounded by nothing but pale flesh. They saw a face PLEADING for help...and no-one wanted him. No-one fought for him.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD_WmyOqxTq2iVDGrqOE6N83tMk85lvUsE8KPExT4GSGgPdN4PI-tby3ZBwCeZxqJA8a3ejrnrsDiEbLRKxoffr-X4TQTYN1DITzMP8hc-OgiNXBNaRATI_c2nvCCBFY0i8wKBJeqmtm0/s1600/Samson-Feb-2014-238x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD_WmyOqxTq2iVDGrqOE6N83tMk85lvUsE8KPExT4GSGgPdN4PI-tby3ZBwCeZxqJA8a3ejrnrsDiEbLRKxoffr-X4TQTYN1DITzMP8hc-OgiNXBNaRATI_c2nvCCBFY0i8wKBJeqmtm0/s1600/Samson-Feb-2014-238x300.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">STILL WAITING<br />
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SOMEHOW Samson has survived past the previous picture, but he continues to wait. Now his tiny malnourished body lies contorted, arched into a position not possible for you or I because of seizures and spams that are left uncontrolled. These unmanaged seizures continue to rob this little boy of things he once had, stripping him of hope. He waits.... <br />
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I have seen this place, I have seen those same white coats that he sees briefly throughout the day. I love this boy. He needs a family NOW! The life of an orphan *living* like this is absolutely beyond my comprehension. I will never understand his pain or suffering. What I know is that the worst of criminals in our country are treated with more dignity and respect than this child. One of the worst forms of torture is solitary confinement because it causes more suffering than anything physical can and that is the sentencing that Samson has been given. Why? Because he was born with cerebral palsy, because he was too hard or too different he was discarded. He was given a death sentence... to lie untouched and uncared about until his seizures or starvation claim him.<br />
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This does NOT have to be his life - he can be surrounded by laughter and joy, he can know what a full belly and love feels like. He can learn to relax and not live in fear of seizures and constant spasms. He just needs ONE family to step forward and give him HOPE again. To learn more about Samson please email Shelley at <a href="mailto:shele337@gmail.com">shele337@gmail.com</a>Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-447420605083452742014-02-07T07:55:00.000-08:002014-02-07T07:55:30.326-08:002 MONTHS HOME!Please "Like" us on FACEBOOK.... It only takes a second! <a href="http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine">http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine</a><br />
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Elliott and Lance have been home for 2 months!! It is really true that time flies when you're having fun. ;) <br />
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Elliott: Elliott is our little mystery still as far as a physical diagnosis. We drove to Denver for an appointment with the head of the Orthopedic Department at Children's Hospital. Elliott's scoliosis is over 80 degrees and that is our number one priority right now. We have very few options for treating the severity at this point and are really praying about the options that are available as both of them require a few weeks in the hospital and some type of surgery. He is going to see a geneticist, cardiologist, pulmonologist, and have a sedated MRI on his spine before we move forward on anything though. For now we are researching and praying for wisdom. <br />
Elliott's personality cracks me up. He is BUSY first of all and interested in everything. His new thing to say is "Look Mom!" and wants to show me anything. He is a very polite little dude saying "No Thank you" when he doesn't want something and "Please" when he does. He counts to 10, sings parts of the alphabet and "Jesus Loves Me." His favorite book is "Humpty Dumpty" and he wants it read to him every night. He still doesn't like to eat, but wants water constantly.<br />
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Lance: Physically Lance is pretty straight forward at this point. His G-tube is healing up and he is doing great with it. We were going to pump feed him overnight to add in extra calories, but he is doing so well with the bolus feeds during the day that we were able to just add two more of those per day and cut the overnight feed out completely. This is giving both Lance and Mom a MUCH better night's rest ;) He has gained about 5 pounds since he's been home!! We are working on his hips and tone and our goal for now is still to get him to reach for toys at some point :) <br />
Lance's personality: He is pretty content and happy to just hang out in the center of things, watching what everyone is doing. He smiles when mom or sister walk by or touch him and loves to be changed and dressed.<br />
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Life in general: Life is so much different with 5 kids than with 3 and we currently have 3 kids who for the most part are nonmobile and totally dependent: all 3 in diapers, needing help being fed, dressed, bathed etc... My 9 year old daughter has been absolutely priceless in helping me throughout the day and does everything (most of the time) with a smile and good attitude. She is earning an American Girl doll ;) We are averaging 4-5 doctor/therapy appointments a week, which means lots of running around and lots of extra time with Nana for those without appointments. We are still adjusting to our new normal, but we are getting there and I am so unbelievably blessed by all 5 of my children. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lance the day I picked him up forever at the orphanage and again last week. (2 months difference people! Adoption saves lives!)</td></tr>
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On a different note...there is a little boy available for adoption who has been regressing severely since he was an infant. He is now 2 years old and has a diagnosis very similar to Lance, but with an added heart component. Friends HE IS DYING, not because he can't live, but because he is not getting a chance to live. I have been to his orphanage, I know the colors, the lights, some of the staff, the cribs, the clothes. I know this place. It is gloomy in summer. Kids don't go outside, they don't interact with one another, they are not happy, and their eyes are hollow. A little girl died there while I was there and if I were to show you her picture you would be dumbfounded -she shouldn't have, she had a family coming for her, but she never got to know their love. Please don't let this happen to Samson.<br />
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Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-79272277045144649702014-01-28T21:21:00.002-08:002014-01-28T21:21:32.027-08:007 weeks homePlease "Like" us on FACEBOOK.... It only takes a second! <a href="http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine">http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine</a><br />
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Here is a quick-ish update on our life at the moment. <br />
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Elliott - Elliott is doing great! He is bonding amazingly to Daddy and Momma, and knows not to hug or kiss other people. He speaks and repeats a ton... and I do mean a TON! People keep saying he talks more than my girls, which is really saying something ;) He is busy, mischievous and all little boy. Right now he is playing with a Thomas the Train and he pulls it back as far as it can go and lets it chug itself off the table - at which point I hear a little chuckle from him! He is smart and wants to explore and do everything - BUT he also tries really hard to follow the rules and does a good job of that most of the time.<br />
Medically he is a mystery still. I was able to get a little more information which basically told me I had less information than I thought. The orphanage DID do genetics testing to see if he had Freeman Sheldon Syndrome (Arthrogryposis) and the results were that he DOES NOT! This doesn't really come as a huge shock since he has NONE of the chief characteristics and is actually sort of opposite of arthrogryposis. His scoliosis is extremely severe and the Pediatric Orthopedist in our city took a look at his x-ray and said she didn't even want to see him - she referred him to the head of the Orthopedic department at Children's Hospital and we will be going there next week to hopefully make a plan for him. (Meaning surgery, traction, bracing etc...) He has super loose joints, soft velvety skin, no muscle tone, dislocated (well lots of dislocated things). A lot of these things point to a connective tissue disorder. We won't be able to see the geneticist until April, but I'm hoping to get a little more information before then. ;)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my oldest son (who is eating a vitamin) </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elliott had the flu for a few days so he got to sleep in our room. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One month home - I love how Lance is looking at Elliott who is posing perfectly. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Lance - Lance has been sick off and on with virus type things and when he gets sick he quits eating. We were finally able to get a few pounds on him which was a huge celebration, but it was taking 1-2 hours to feed him 3 ounces of food by mouth and of course he needs to eat more than once a day. That meant that I was spending roughly 5-8 hours a day just feeding Mr. Lance. We had a swallow study done and learned that he was aspirating just about everything he was eating and oral feeding was absolutely unsafe for him. He had a Gastronomy tube placed last Friday and spent the weekend in the hospital and came home Monday night. He is doing really well with it, although we are still learning what his little system can handle. This means 4 bolus feeds during the day and a continuous feed at night. The time in the hospital was priceless for mom and baby. I had several days of nothing to do, but focus on Lance. I learned more about his personality and enjoyed snuggling with him lots! He REALLY loves to be held :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting prepped for surgery</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The doctors argued over who got to carry Handsome to the operating room.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Post op - groggy and puffy</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The result</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still puffy and not a bit happy about this hospital\surgery thing</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feeling better, but not home yet</td></tr>
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Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-80021123840457352842013-12-24T23:20:00.001-08:002013-12-24T23:21:01.981-08:002 weeks homePlease "Like" us on FACEBOOK.... It only takes a second! http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine<br />
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It is so strange to be looking BACK on the whole adoption process. I find myself staring at Lance sometimes in utter awe that here is this little boy whose picture I started at tirelessly for months. I watched his one minute video over and over until I had it memorized completely. He seemed so much like a dream, the idea of adopting him and having him in our family seemed so far away and yet here he is now in my home, with his own little bed, warm BOY jammies, and a mommy who is willing to syringe feed him every hour to keep him hydrated when he is sick. He is smiling a little more and recognizing the difference between one person holding him and mama and smiles when I take him. We had a long week as he came down with an ear infection and a pretty high fever that would not go away despite the antibiotic, Tylenol, and Motrin. We visited the doctor every week day and were on the phone with the on call doc twice on the weekend. They discussed hospitalizing my little man mostly to hydrate since Lance didn't want to eat and would clench his jaw and then spit everything out - BUT! God is merciful and after a stronger antibiotic, little man is doing tons better, just in time for his first Christmas HOME!<br />
Elliott has so much personality and he continues to amaze me. He has some anxiety things, but he knows I am his mom and prefers me to other people. When Daddy got him out of bed the other morning, he immediately asked about "Mama". He took his first INDEPENDENT steps the other day and we cheered so loud I'm sure the neighbors could hear. Elliott tells himself "BRAVO!" when he is proud and we have been hearing that a lot :) He tells me "I lawv you" all throughout the day and sings "Jesus Loves Me" including the hand signs. Let me just say, that kids is SMART SMART SMART. I feel more and more confident as time goes on that he is capable of absolutely anything he wants to do. Just as I look at Lance in awe sometimes that we finally have him home, I sometimes look at Elliott and feel tremendous sadness for his birth parents. They have no idea what a beautiful and perfect child they gave up or what a beautiful life they are missing out on.<br />
Alright, it's past midnight and I'm sure my kidlets will want to be up early to open Christmas presents in the morning, but I wanted to give a quick update for those of you who have so diligently prayed and supported our family and our little ones. THANK YOU!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sick little man :(</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of Elliott's favorite foods "MacanOni" (macaroni)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elliott wanting to hold my hand - look at those long fingers</td></tr>
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Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-81659817849604948732013-12-09T18:02:00.001-08:002013-12-09T18:02:42.302-08:00They are home!!!!!!<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">A
quick recap of our week in Bulgaria since I didn't have a chance to
update much. Monday was gotcha day. Lance's orphanage apparently
favored him and I think did so to the extent that they told me he wasn't
on any meds *I think* because they were afraid if I knew about all of
them I wouldn't have wanted him. He has obviously been worked with
since I visited him in May because his tone is much <span class="text_exposed_show">looser and he seems more "filled out" if you can call it that. </span></span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> The social worker, Lance and I</span></span><br /><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"></span></span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</span></span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> So happy, to finally have Lance in my arms forever.<br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> Saying goodbye to his social worker. </span></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">Elliott had chicken pox since I was there and it looks like a bad case,
he has lots of scars from them. He also was loved in his orphanage,
being one of the oldest kids there, his group worker made him a
Christmas card and gave him a book to take home. </span></span><br />
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GOTCHA! <br />
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First steps out of the orphanage<br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> My first moment with BOTH BOYS! </span></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">We immediately went to
the doctor appointment and had blood drawn for the TB test. No other
families from our agency have come back positive from this test so I
wasn't concerned...UNTIL our attorney met me at the US Embassy for our
appointment Wednesday to let me know that BOTH of our boys tests came
back positive. That meant taking them straight from the embassy to the
clinic again to have x-rays done! Lance's x-ray passed quickly upon
review, but Elliott's took 2 consults with colleague's before the doctor
gave him the ok. That was a very stressful day, but God brought us
through it. Thursday was our day off, so we went shopping for gifts to
bring home. I sent Jamie
back to the hotel with the boys at 3:30 while I went quickly to the
outdoor market for some Matrushka dolls. When I got back to the hotel
at 4:15, I was met by a panicked Jamie and Tiffany who informed me that if I didn't get back to the US Embassy by 5:00 we
wouldn't be issued the visas and wouldn't be able to leave the next
morning. The embassy is about 40 minutes from the hotel and it took
forever to get a taxi to show up. I literally made it to the embassy at
4:57 didn't even wait for the taxi to pull over and threw the money at
him and jumped out. When I got to the entrance of the embassy I was
told that they were waiting on a call from Washington so I had made it
in time...later I learned that the "call from Washington" was
specifically regarding us and our situation. Apparently the form they
wanted signed was a new procedure starting THAT day and they had spent
the whole day trying to find me...including the US Embassy in Bulgaria
calling my husband! (Just what every one wants to hear when their wife
is in a foreign country picking up kids). Lance struggled with feeding,
but overall did SO MUCH better than I had been anticipating and I am so
grateful for Jamie's help in working to get this piece figured out.
Elliott definitely remembered me and even some of the little details of
our first visit. HE LOVES having a mom. He leans his cheek to me often
and says "kiss" he has a lot of attachment issues, but he does prefer
me to everyone else and I think with some patience and consistency he is
going to thrive! Let me tell you too, that kid is SMART! Living in an
orphanage for 5.5 years, must have been complete torment for his quick
mind. He takes everything in and is super observant. </span></span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> They both
did pretty well on the flights and our layovers were *just* long enough
to get to the next gate basically. Meaning that when I finally arrived
in Colorado I was a total DISASTER! The cute outfits I had planned for
the boys never got put on and as a result they were in their 24 hour
airplane jams. This was
the point that I'm thinking...I sure hope those people taking pics won't
post them publicly to let the world see what a wreck I was when I
deplaned. Of course, I have since let that go in the name of adoption -
it may not always be pretty but it is beautiful! My kids at home,
especially my oldest, are on cloud 9! Louis and Lenora both have pretty
tough colds and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE your prayers that this doesn't
get passed on to my medically fragile boys - I really don't have any
desire to be in the hospital with pneumonia.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">Ok, here are some more pics that I had to leave you with :) </span></span><br />
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Asleep in the car on the way to the hotel<br />
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Elliott's first night HOME<br />
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Lance and my 16 month old<br />
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Lance's first night in his OWN bed<br />
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Daddy feeding Lance<br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> </span></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> Elliott's new haircut</span></span><br />
Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-37170801733101700932013-11-28T23:21:00.000-08:002013-11-28T23:21:10.374-08:00A few thoughts the night before I fly outPlease "Like" us on FACEBOOK.... It only takes a second! http://www.facebook.com/onemorelightofmine<br />
<br />
This is really more for my own sake than anything. It's the night before I fly to Bulgaria to pick up my baby boys. I am so full of varied emotions. <br />
<br />
Sadness...Yep, I had to say good bye to my little ones tonight knowing that when I come home our lives...their lives will never be the same. I don't want to leave them and worry about how things will go while I'm gone and if they will be ok.<br />
<br />
Worried...How are Lance and Elliott going to respond to their new lives? A new world, sights, sounds, smells, language, tastes...the list could go on forever it seems. Will they be ok? Will they have changed? For the better? For worse? What will their needs really look like? How will we adjust to one another? Will they resent me for taking them from their "world", the only world they have ever known?<br />
<br />
Anxious....How will the flights go? Will I make it to the airport in time? What if I over sleep...<br />
<br />
Amazed....After more than a year, paperwork by the pound, constantly wondering how things will work out/if they will work out. Will this adoption actually happen? Is it possible for our family to really be able to bring these precious ones home? The time has finally come!!! In 3 days the boys will be in my arms forever!!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red;">EXCITED....no matter what other things I am feeling right now, the most prominent one is excited!! I am about to get on my first of a series of flights that will take me to my little boys' country! I will get to walk into their orphanages and walk back out with them forever. They will never have to feel alone or unloved again. Never again will they spend a night alone or cold, never will they lie in a hospital bed without a loving parent to sit next to them and hold their hand. I get to hold them and care for them,<i> I </i>get to be their mom and love them!! Praise God for letting me be their mom!! </span></b>Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-54368007631544018642013-11-22T08:22:00.001-08:002013-11-22T08:22:38.994-08:00TRAVEL DATES<br />
<br />
It has been a looong 6 months. Truthfully, knowing that I have two little boys half a world away suffering and alone has been awful. I prayed when we started this process that it would be record breaking fast, that we would be able to complete the adoption in under a year, that things would go smoothly. Here we are 16 months later, so not under that year, but I can say that things have gone smoothly for the most part, and that I know God's hand has been in every single detail. Now, I can happily shout that our sons<br />
<br />
ARE COMING HOME!<br />
<br />
November 29th I board a plane with a good friend and fellow adoptive mom, for Bulgaria. December 2nd is GOTCHA DAY and on December 6th we will board another plane, this time with my two precious children and fly back to the US!!! I have a few prayer requests for you all:<br />
<br />
Safety as we travel<br />
Health for my friend and I<br />
Health for Elliott and Lance<br />
Comfort and peace for Elliott and Lance as their worlds are turned upside down and they say goodbye to everything they know.<br />
My other children who also have a lot of changes in store. This is going to be a very difficult time for them to adjust to also and I especially ask for prayer for them.<br />
Wisdom for Todd and I as we seek medical help and emotional healing for our two oldest sons.<br />
<br />
<br />
Thank you so much for joining us in this amazing journey!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-27032869129771867272013-11-14T08:28:00.001-08:002013-11-14T08:31:21.719-08:00How does this work?<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear Friends and Family:</div>
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Very soon, we’ll be bringing Elliott and Lance home and starting the process of becoming a new and bigger family. This is an exciting and scary time for all of us, especially for Elliott and Lance. In their short lives, our sons have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than most adults could handle. They've
already experienced the loss of a birthmother, abandonment and rejection from their family, and will soon experience the loss of familiar caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of their birth country. Their world will turn upside down. They will be disoriented and confused. They will struggle with feeling safe and secure and lack the ability to trust that we will meet their needs. </div>
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The process of learning to trust that we
are the two adults in their world who will always be there to care for them is called attachment. You know that building trust is hard, takes a lot of time and a lot of work. It
gets easier over time, but things are going to be a little strange at
first and we ask that you please understand and respect what’s
happening. We are not closing you out, you are the most important people in our lives. But Elliott and Lance need to have boundaries in place to develop a strong, and healthy attachment to us.</div>
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<b>Physical Boundaries</b></div>
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It will help us immensely if adults limit
what is typically considered normal, physical contact with
Elliott and Lance. This will (for a while) include things like holding, hugging and kissing. Children from orphanages are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone. Unfortunately,
this disrupts their ability to attach to us. Waving, blowing kisses or
high fives are perfectly appropriate and <b>welcomed</b>! Elliott and Lance should know that you are our trusted friends and family.</div>
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<b>Caretaking</b></div>
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They have relied on a stream of different adults to meet their needs. They've
learned that they have to compete for the attention of every adult they see
to get basic things like food, clothing, blankets and comfort. Charming every available adult becomes a survival technique. While that might work in an orphanage, it’s dangerous in our world. It’s not safe for Elliott to ask random strangers for a hug. In
order for Elliott and Lance to learn healthy, appropriate boundaries with
strangers, they have to begin by learning that we are the two people
responsible for meeting their needs. For a while, we need to be the only ones to hand them food, give them water, comfort them when they are hurt. If they ask you for something, please ask us. For a while, it will look like we’re spoiling them. As they learn that we are their parents, it will become OK to treat Elliott and Lance just like our other ones.</div>
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<b>Discipline</b></div>
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Because of their experiences, Elliott and Lance might have learned that adults are scary and unreliable. A gentle scolding can feel like a ton of bricks to him. Discipline will be very tricky. Just
as it is important for them to understand who their caretakers
are, they need to learn that we (and not every adult he sees) are their authority figures to be trusted not to hurt them and yet
still hold them to a standard. </div>
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<b>Thank you! You all have played an amazing role in our journey to get Elliott and Lance home and we WANT you to continue in their journey home. While they may be unable to interact with others for a while Todd and I covet your prayers and encouragement please feel free to call or send notes we will need them!</b></div>
Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2249128156615310391.post-85055651176502781262013-10-31T20:53:00.000-07:002013-10-31T20:53:51.938-07:00They belong!!!<br />
Our court date was October 29th at 9:30 in the morning Eastern Europe time which meant 1:30 am my time. I stayed up just feeling like I needed to be awake while my attorney was representing us half a world away. What an incredibly strange feeling to have children legally added to your family and yet neither parents nor children were actually present at court. My husband and three children here were fast asleep and I anxiously checked the clock and refreshed e-mails in the dark....that made me think about what my other two children were doing?<br />
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Elliott, at 5 years old and not even 30 pounds, hasn't started walking independently or putting words together to form sentences. While I spent the better part of 8 hours a day with him on trip one, when I would walk into his room to get him he was usually sitting in the middle of a floor with no toys or interaction. There were other children and staff members, but the children were much younger than he and none of them seemed to have a concept of what "play" meant. At 9:30 in the morning Elliott had likely finished breakfast and was sitting in the middle of the lonely room just like he does and has done for more than 5 years.<br />
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Lance, now 3 and less than 15 pounds, lives in a crib in a room big enough for two cribs and that is literally it. He is alone almost all of the time...not even in a room with other kids to look at or listen to. He squirms and moans in pain regularly as his body tenses but never relaxes. His head has molded on one side to match the shape of his mattress....the one he has lived in around the clock for more than 3 years. This was undoubtedly where he was during court. <br />
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Please don't misunderstand me, there is staff at both of these places that care about these children who want to see them find homes and be happy. The reality is, though, they are not their family. They will find other jobs, be moved to a different group, take vacations, and go home on weekends and at night. They can never show the children the love of a family because truthfully they are not their family. So while, Elliott and Lance laid or sat in their rooms just like every other day, a beautiful woman with a heart for the children of her country stood before a judge as he told her that he would permit their adoption. Two little lives changed forever. Two children who will never again be called orphans.<br />
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I am so honored to formally introduce my oldest son: Elliott<br />
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And my middle son: Lance<br />
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THEY ARE NO LONGER ORPHANS!!!!!!!!!! <br />
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We will wait a few more weeks for the official court decree and their new birth certificates with their new family name and then we get travel dates. Right not we are hopeful that we will have them in our arms the beginning of December! Thank you for your continued prayers. <br />
Homeschool Recordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12602851282240010006noreply@blogger.com1