Now for a confession. Adoption is expensive. I know all of you are really surprised by this *wink*.
It's not because you are paying for a child, it's because you have (in the case of international adoption) two governments you have to go through, lots of legal documents to be authenticated and notarized, then translated, and then travel. For the program we are going through we are required to travel twice. I don't understand why it is set up this way, as that makes it so much harder for the parents, but especially for the children who learn they have a family for the first time and then are "abandoned" once more for 6 months. Do you remember how long 6 months was when you were 5? It might as well have been an eternity!
When we started our adoption, I might as well tell you, we didn't have $30,000+ sitting in our savings account waiting for something to come along that we could give it to or spend it on. I won't tell you how little we ACTUALLY had, but I will tell you that when people say "You have to be rich to adopt" I LAUGH! Now, I WILL say that you HAVE to be called by God to adopt. We now sit $7000 short of being fully funded to bring our boys home as soon as the judge says "jump". I am in absolute amazement at how God has provided so much. I KNOW that had He not called us to adopt or if we were adopting out of a feeling of obligation or guilt we would not have been able to come so far.
Ok, another confession. I was grumbling the other day in my heart (Oh how I would have wandered in the desert) at the different perspective of "pinching pennies." BUT, I was utterly convicted by my Heavenly Father, Who thankfully has not given up on me yet, when a still small voice reminded me of the parable of workers in the Vineyard:
New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard
20 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2 He agreed to pay them a denarius[a] for the day and sent them into his vineyard.3 “About nine in the morning he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4 He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ 5 So they went.
“He went out again about noon and about three in the afternoon and did the same thing. 6 About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’
7 “‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.
“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’
8 “When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’
9 “The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. 10 So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. 11 When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 12 ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’
13 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’
How can I grumble about how God chooses to provide for others? He has said that He will provide for Elliott and Lance and that is enough. If He chooses to provide quicker or more abundantly for another family in need what is that to me? If anything we should be rejoicing at God's abundant grace!
Sadly, not a week later I was panicking in my heart and thinking "maybe I should apply for an adoption loan or a credit card, in case we don't have the full amount we need to bring the boys home." Oh my goodness, how God draws us nearer to Him when we obey Him - I heard once more a still small voice reminding me that this was what HE called us to and that for ME to go into debt for this is showing a lack of faith in what HE has said He will provide for. (NOT AT ALL that I am saying it is wrong for others to apply for these kinds of loans! - I am saying that it would be disobedience for ME because I have been told very clearly that this is NOT how God wants to provide for OUR adoption) Anyway, I repent to God for my unbelief "LORD! I believe, help my unbelief" and I gratefully step onward excited to see what God will do!
Thanks for bearing with me on this one...I'm sure it is full of errors and I KNOW I rambled here, but these are things I wanted to share with those of you who might be considering adoption or just need a little encouragement - God provides ALWAYS and in His perfect timing.