Where can I even begin? We requested Lance's file September 28th, 2012 and had committed to him by the middle of October. I remember meeting with our social worker for the first time and showing her Lance's video. She had asked me how long the process took and when we expected to have him home....I told her about a year and she urged, pleaded really, for me to try to get him home sooner. She danced around her thoughts until she finally spit out her concern that with as little as he was she was worried that he may not make it a year. Yet, here we are, a full year later. So let me recap the year.....
Jacob, the sweetest little boy with cerebral palsy not even two years old. He had a few thousand dollars already designated for his adoption and yet he still waited. WHY?! Why is he waiting? I held my 3 month old son and wondered what if he had been Jacob? What if he had been born with cerebral palsy and in an Eastern European country? That so easily could have been MY son! I had to ask about Jacob. We weren't in a position to adopt and the timing was just about as awful as it could get, I just wanted to know where Jacob was from and what the requirements were. I wasn't serious and hadn't even asked Todd. After a few interactions with Sarah from Reece's Rainbow we realized that Jacob's country would never be a good fit for our family...however Sarah suggested another country that would be perfect and another little boy who also had "cp" along with the link to his profile on Reece's Rainbow.
LANCE!!!!! Oh be still my heart. This was not like any other waiting child I had seen. I LOVED this one like my own. I showed Todd and he was moved, this one WAS different. I requested the video from the agency who had his information and when I got the e-mail I was so excited that I loaded my three kiddos into the car and drove to my mom's to show her this beautiful little boy. This ONE that I loved. I learned that if we wanted to pursue Lance's adoption we had to commit in less than 2 weeks.
WHAT?! But, Lord! We weren't even considering adoption seriously right now! We have a 3 month old baby! Todd is changing jobs and thinking of moving! We have NO MONEY! The home study agency I called said NO! This must not be God's will, we must be mistaken.... except I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking of Lance, I have butterflies when I think of bringing him home, I LOVE HIM! So at this point I decided that if he were my son I would fight for him, I would do whatever I could for him....and I felt like he was my son, so fight I would. I prayed that if this was God's will that He would provide a miracle, "part the Red Sea" and make the impossible possible. I e-mailed every agency in Colorado that night and determined that if I didn't hear anything the next day I would let this go. The next morning I had two phone calls from two separate agencies that said they didn't see that there would be any problems with us moving forward!!! PRAISE GOD!
Now, for that pesky money that we didn't have. We needed about $6000.00 to be able to commit (Read $6000 we didn't have). Someone came to us and told us that they had about $6000.00 that they had to donate somewhere for taxes and they wanted to give it toward our adoption!!! PRAISE GOD!!
Next, Todd has a job, but it isn't reliable and he is looking for something better. A door opens and then shuts, then another and another and I am feeling discouraged. About 2 weeks before our first homestudy visit he takes a job locally paying exactly what we needed!PRAISE GOD!!!
It has been this way, every step of the way. I doubt, I get discouraged, I can't imagine HOW...and then God provides and shows His power, His sovereignty.