Number 6

   A few months ago I received a totally random facebook message from a friend.  It was just a picture of a little boy who looked a lot like Lance.  When I finally took the time to ask why she was sending me the picture it propelled me back into the reality of orphans.  We really needed the last two years to focus on Elliott and Lance and getting them to a place of stability in our home and family. During that time I stopped looking on advocacy sites or following others adoption journeys really because I just didn't have the time. We spent A LOT of time at doctors, therapists, hospital stays, and that was my focus.  So a few months ago (about the time that my friend sent this photo) my husband and I sat down, leaned back, and said "I think we've gotten to our new normal."  and we sighed a deep sigh of relief and rest.... so when I got this picture, I thought "That's cute, but we aren't adopting again." ...except I couldn't help but start looking at the seas of faces that are waiting for families and homes one more time.

...and that was a fact. 

We really started searching our hearts and both came to a place of feeling that God was telling us He wanted more from us.  We have such an easy life.  No, not compared to some people, but compared to the majority of the people in the world and compared to EVERY SINGLE orphaned child...our life is so blessed.  I truly cannot fathom walking with plastic bottles tied to the bottoms of my feet in desperation 

or quenching unbearable thirst like this....

I am blessed. I am fortunate. My life is easy.

Sooo...how did this lead us to Ava. Well, we considered a few children and started paperwork on them actually and when I went to mail the documents it didn't feel right.  I just couldn't.   I asked my husband if he felt that we were supposed to back up and wait and he (my voice of reason) told me no, he didn't think that. So I kept looking and praying for our child while we started the homestudy process. The day the last of us had our physical (a requirement for both the homestudy and dossier) I came home discouraged and planned to call our homestudy agency to tell them we wanted to put everything on hold until further notice.  I got on the advocacy site just one more time ( ;) Yes, I've said that before) and one little girl's big brown eyes stood out.  I couldn't scroll past her, I couldn't look past this face.  I asked a friend to see if she could find out more about her and a few hours later she messaged me with this:

MELISSA!!!!\

I just got the first file I am supposed to work on...

GUESS WHO IT IS

You guessed it! It was Ava. (The whole process from seeing her to finding her and committing to her wasn't quite that cut and dried - but those are the highlights) We committed to her ASAP before our placing agency even had a chance to list her as a waiting child so when we finally got to show her picture to the rest of the world, most people hadn't gotten to see her before. This is the first time she has been listed but she's been waiting for 7 years. Have you ever had to lay in a bed for days with nothing on tv or to read and no-one to talk to? It's hard. It's really not fun after the first few hours. This is Ava's life and has been since the moment she took her first breath. She lays in a crib and waits. I have a short video of her laying in her crib and it makes my heart ache. She lays there trying to find the person who she knows has come in the room with her limited abilities. She waits for them to come close to her and after a bit her mouth starts to attempt to eat. She turns her head reflexively like a newborn and tries to eat only there is nothing there...no-one is going to feed her this time. She's SEVEN YEARS OLD people! She weighs the same as a 5 month old infant. She weighs what Lance did when he came home at 3 years old and had a waist the size of a preemie. Medically, according to her file, she is very similar to Lance. We anticipate her needs to imitate his on many levels and feel so grateful for all that he has taught us and the tools we now have available to be able to help meet her needs and give her the best chance at a joy-filled life.

Thanks so much for taking a minute to read and support us on our journey.

Melissa