Monday, November 19, 2012

My burden

6 weeks.  It has been 6 short/long weeks since I first saw MY Lance.  I have watched a 1 minute 6 second video of him countless times, focusing on the line of his nose, the deep dark brown eyes framed by sweet long lashes.  At 30 seconds exactly into the clip, I see a brief hint of a smile.  That smile both melts and breaks my heart.  This precious 2 year old soul lives behind bars, little white bars that have kept him contained for his entire short life.  I can't wait to have him home and in my arms,  I can't wait to look at him and show him what love is.  He has a family!  It will be another several months before he can be home forever, but it will come!

I have to confess that this weekend has been discouraging and disheartening for me.  I have been on a journey into the world of orphans for the past 6 weeks.  I'm driven to learn whatever I possibly can about the orphanages in Eastern Europe, but the rest of the world as well.  I have met terrific families and read through several adoption blogs and suddenly my eyes are wide open to the reality of life for so many children all over the world. These are real human lives, with real souls, and thoughts, and feelings.  Real babies who are bathed in boiling water gruffly when they are only days old, toddlers whose arms and legs are strapped down to potty chairs all day long,  8 year olds who have been starved to the point of weighing the same as a newborn.  Were you aware of a documentary done by the BBC about "dying rooms" in China?  These are rooms where orphaned children who are especially weak or have special needs are tossed and left to die.  Literally they are left in the dark with no electricity, heat or air conditioning, and never fed or again acknowledged until their deaths.  In a documentary done, again by the BBC,  hundreds of children in one orphanage in Eastern Europe are starved and neglected until they literally become insane.  The older children are encouraged to bully and beat up on the younger children and the crimes of the staff are unspeakable.  At one point the director states that 90% of the girls were not considered virgins. These are helpless, frail little girls who have no will or ability to fight back while their lives and innocence are shattered.
I know I have been up on this soap box for weeks, I may never get down, I'm not sure I want to.  How can I help give these children a voice?  How can I, one stay at home mama, show others and help them to truly see the suffering?  I don't intend that people see the suffering and feel miserable about life. NO!  We are blessed.  Be Thankful!! I only intend that you prayerfully seek what part you can play in one of their lives.

I am laying in bed now, warm, full from a good dinner, snuggling my baby boy, with a laptop and my only real concern for tomorrow is how I will accomplish all of the little tasks I have deemed important.  Meanwhile, half way around the world, lies a little girl who was beautifully and wonderfully created in her mother's womb more than a year ago.  She's a beautiful little girl with BIG eyes who, when I had first seen her picture, I was certain would not be listed for long before her family saw her and scooped her up.  Here she is now, malnourished and weak, barely recognizable from her first picture (except for those  magnificent eyes)  She went from eating from a spoon in September to being too weak and underweight to move.  I know her Mama and Daddy are somewhere out there praying for her, maybe it's you reading this now?  I am just asking that each of you who have made it through this whole post (Thank you, by the way) please don't forget about these lives?  Live your lives to the best of your ability, but remember them as you go about your life.   Pray for them, tell others about them, consider donating to one of their grants.

Lina 3F

Girl, born June 2011

Diagnosis:  Hypoplasia of the right lung, Severe perinatal hypoxic-ischemic lesion of the nervous system, Epilepsy (controlled with medications), Lag in the psycho-motor development, Pseudo-bulbar syndrome, Hemorrhagic gastritis, Minor malformation of the heart, Inguinal hernia, Hip dysplasia
Lina is a beautiful girl with lots of medical needs.    She’s a beauty.   Everyone falls in love with her big open eyes and long eyelashes.   Lina understands people very well, including their moods. Up to 7 months, Lina was babysat by nannies while she was in the hospital. She knew them very well and loved them too.  She is now in the Orphanage.
Unfortunately, the fate of this girl is very difficult.   Her mom left her in the hospital.   Lina was born premature, bleeding in the lung, and on the 3rd month, experienced epileptic seizures which then led to her diagnosis of epilepsy. The girl cannot eat on her own and still only eats through a tube. She frequently experiences pain, and especially worries when the weather changes.
She can hold her own head up and roll over, but she hasn’t yet learned how to sit.   She’s so sweet.   She likes to smack her lips as if sucking a pacifier, but in reality, she cannot suck.   Lina loves attention.   She enjoys being talked to, stroked, kissed, and played with. Therefore, it is very difficult in the Orphanage, because she does not receive much attention.   It is very difficult to leave the orphanage after visiting the baby.   She seemed to understand everything.   She can look deep into your eyes that you don’t ever wish to let go!
UPDATE SEP 2012:  Lina is eating from a spoon
UPDATE OCT 2012:  Lina’s condition and development are much worse than before, now that she is in the orphanage and not the hospital.   She can not move because she is too weak and underweight!
$433.50 is available towards the cost of my adoption, including $151.00 from Angel Tree 

I didn't want to bump the above post just yet, so I've decided to add the link to our adoption story which was aired on a local news station!  November 20, 2012

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